When I am in agreement with the Holy Spirit, when I listen with my heart and follow with my steps, the fruits of the Spirit become evident in my life. Peace is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

Peace is often referred to as something people can experience someday in the future when there will be a change in circumstances. But outer circumstances have nothing to do with peace. Peace is something that must reside within and it comes from a relationship with the Holy Spirit. In fact, peace already exists, I need only align myself with it, with Him. I cannot force others to have peace, but I can bring my peace to them.

It is easy to forget that I have a well-spring of peace within me. It happens when something external surprises me and fools me into thinking that I am not safe or loved or good enough. Worry and fear crash in and my thoughts and actions become more about defending or attacking. Those are words of war and conflict, not peace.  I am not vulnerable. I am not a victim. I am with God. He is with me. His Holy Spirit has gifted me with peace in all circumstances.

You will go out with joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Isaiah 55:12

I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 26 years. My youngest son is now learning to drive, and there will be graduation and college. This season of my life is coming to a close but I won’t speak of turning leaves and falling petals. I won’t imagine winds that carry seeds to other lands. I won’t anticipate the cold.

Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote in her exquisite book Gift from the Sea, “One tries to cure the signs of growth, to exorcise them, as if they were devils, when really they might be angels of annunciation…a new stage in living when, having shed many of the physical struggles, the worldly ambitions, the material encumbrances of active life, one might be free for growth of mind, heart and talent; free at last for spiritual growth…”

Spiritual growth.  Yes, every stage, every season, every day is spiritual growth with God at my side.

God is not stagnant, neither is His creation and neither are His people. He offers gifts and blessings in every season, like chapters of a magnificent book. I need only to savor and smile, turn the page, savor and smile some more.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven Ecclesiastes 3:1

My grandparents’ house was a place of love for me. They were loving people in a sweet old Cape Cod house by the Delaware Bay, surrounded by his magnificent boxwoods, crepe myrtles, vegetable garden and her petunias along the walk.

I grew up from a wee one there, visiting and staying with them often. I played in the garden rows, shelled limas on the porch swing with my Grammy and often skipped down the road to my friend Cherie’s house to climb on her mimosa tree.

When Pop Pop died and we had to sell the house, I wanted so badly to purchase it. The thought of letting that idyllic spot in my world slip through my fingers was heartbreaking. It seemed like all things good welled up from that plot of land on the edge of Newport, New Jersey.  But no, it’s just that Jim and Eva cultivated good things there as they lived. They knew God’s word, prayed with their grandchildren, served in church and loved their neighbors.

As I write this, I see four of Pop Pop’s spruce trees planted in my front yard. They are getting big and someday they will grow out over the walk and need to be removed. I will be sad but I needn’t worry about change. Pop Pop is in my heart, not my yard. And Jesus is not in a place, but everywhere, in me, and wherever I go. Grammy put Him in my heart, so I could have His love with me forever.

 

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17

It seems every bride wants peonies in her wedding bouquet. They are soft, delicate, and come in the sweetest shades of bliss. In season, peonies are fluffy and sublime. Out of season, they often arrived at the floral design studio as tight, round buds. To coax them into the flower we desired, we cut the stems, put them in a vase of hot water and covered it all with a heavy plastic bag, creating a hothouse. Then we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

God’s perfect timing is often compared to a blooming rose. Neither can be rushed. We tried that too, blowing into a rose bud, attempting to force it open. I even saw one designer spin the rose stem between her palms to fling the petals open. It sort of worked but never as well as the God-intended process. Nothing ever compares to God’s plan.

Everything on earth, everything in life, everything in death involves a process. God has set it perfectly that way. He creates in a moment, performs miracles in an instant, but He has established time and process into our world, into a blossom and into each life and every thing. I try to tinker with it. I push against it with my prayers. I want things now and fail to see why it cannot be. Surrendering to His perfect plan, joining Him with faith, obedience and awe always heals, always heals.

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,  to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:25-26

I give my tears to Christ because I know that He cares. He carried my sorrows, He is the only One who could. When I am in despair I know that He hears me. He knew my despair long before it fell upon me and He can carry me through it.
My tears come when I don’t know what to do. It’s sadness, yes. And it is grief. But it is also a question: Lord, how I can make this better? I feel powerless and lost. So I give Christ my tears with a plea: Help me make sense of this, help me heal this, help me help this… Help me.
I wonder why God keeps track of my sorrows, but it comforts me that He does. Maybe it is so I don’t have to, I can let them go, one by one, because I know that He has them safely with Him. Yes, he carries my sorrows.

Christ’s work on the cross for me is my only hope. Without Him, my sorrows would drown me and I would keep creating more and more of them. With Him, I am restored and reminded that it doesn’t all depend on me. I can sometimes say, “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help,” and know that Christ has already put an end to my suffering, I need only hand over my tears and trust Him.

 

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

The image of walking along with God is comforting to me, like I am a favored child who gets to spend special time with Him. And I believe this is true! There is something else that needs to be in the picture though, obedience. Getting to walk alongside of God is keeping in step with Him and having the faith in Him to keep walking wherever He would have me go.

Some days I never seem to leave His side; others, I find myself walking alone and realize I left Him miles back where the road became steep or the path was unmarked. But I didn’t have to wander away just because it was difficult or I didn’t recognize the path, in fact, that is when I needed to draw closer to God.

There are also times I just walk away in disobedience. I know the way He wants me to go and I willfully choose a different one. That path leads nowhere and I call out to God to come find me again so I can once again walk closely by His side.

I need to choose to walk with God every step of the day, every step of the way. There are no days in life when this doesn’t apply. When I do this, there is no need to wander off, no way to lose my bearings. And I can meet everything along the path with God, His comfort and His grace. I am eager to see where He leads me.

 

Obey My voice, and I will be your God.  Jeremiah 7:23

My grandfather was an expert gardener. We were fed from his field every spring, summer and fall. And he was serious about the bugs and the weeds. He used to pay me a nickel for every potato bug I picked. I dropped those little striped beetles into a coffee can and proudly handed it over to him to inspect. I did not pull weeds in Pop Pop’s garden, however, he was in charge of that. I didn’t know his garden like he did. My little hand was not as steady or discerning as his and may have misjudged, uprooting a carrot or vine instead.

There are some things better left to my Father. God’s word tells me to walk in His ways, according to His Word and then I will be delivered. Some spend a lifetime trying to remove sin and bondage from their lives. God’s word tells me not to trust my ways but to fix my eyes on His ways and give my problems to Him. He will remove them. And if He doesn’t, for reasons only He knows, my eyes will still be fixed on Him and His ways.

I have spent years of my life with my eyes fixed on my shortcomings and some I am simply powerless to change. No amount of observation fixes them. No amount of stomping flattens them. No amount of fighting weakens them.  When I depend on God, I grow with Him. He is the expert gardener of my life. He blesses the bounty and withers the weeds. He delivers me.

He that trusts in his own heart is a fool: but whoever walks wisely, he shall be delivered.  Proverbs 28:26

How is it that Meschach, Shadrach and Abednego did not fear when King Nebuchadnezzar had them thrown into the fire? Two things: They knew that God would either keep them from the flames or bring them home safely to Him (thereby keeping them from those other flames). Blessed and cared for either way!

Why is it so hard for me to hold onto the truth that God keeps me in the palm of His hand when I face crises? Two things: I focus on the enemy’s frightening display and I want it to stop–in that moment–more than I want God.

Trials fill me with fear when I fixate on the weapons of the enemy instead of my Father. When I put my life in the hands of God, I have nothing to fear and everything to worship and adore. I may not like my predicament. I may not understand the turn of events. I may not feel equipped to handle a circumstance, but God has allowed it and God will be with me as I walk through it. I depend upon Him with all the faith I can muster and pray for the rest. God wants to be glorified in my situation and in my life. He has good plans for me. I rest in His hands and do not fear because of one thing: He loves me.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

I didn’t come to know self-respect until I came to know God. I had no significance. I didn’t know how to treat myself with dignity. I didn’t believe that what I did mattered to myself, to God, to anyone.  I thought humiliation was the way to humility, denigrating myself the way of putting others first. I began to think differently when I began to know Jesus.

Jesus died for my sins. God loves me. It’s nothing I have done, it’s who He says I am—a child of the Most High God. I am a child of the Most High God, saved by grace. I accept and embrace what God has given me—all of it. My home, my family, my intelligence, my body, my gifts, my talents, my purpose. Precious gifts, His blessings.  I respect myself as one loved by God and saved by Jesus.

Part of this self-respect is respecting God in others, too.  Just as my parents would have me respect my sibling, God expects me to honor Him by regarding His children in the same loving manner I do myself.  This helps remind them of who they are to God and the great price Jesus paid to make us all completely lovable in His eyes.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind; that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Romans 12:2

When my sons were very small they would come to me with despair over a broken toy, or tears over a bad fall, or woe over a lost item. As their mom, I would set into motion a quick plan to solve the problem the best I could. I had glue to mend, bandages and hugs to heal and, as the only female in a house with four males, apparently the exclusive gift to locate.

Parents can seem to their children to be bigger and stronger than anything–able to fix everything!  It is so important that they know the One who really is. There have been times my life I tried to force that job onto other people or even myself, rather than become humble to omnipotent and omniscient God.

Jesus was on a boat with His disciples when a big storm arose. The fearful disciples ran to Him to save them and the Bible says He rebuked the wind and waves and calmed the storm. Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

I think the disciples did one thing right—they ran to Jesus. I have been on a few proverbial “boats in a storm” and have, at any given moment, abandoned hope, blamed others, lashed out in anger and surrendered to despair. When all I had to do was run to Jesus.

Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. Jeremiah 32;17