Winter was very cold and long this year. There were two or three nor’easters and plenty of ice and snow. In the midst of it, I came down with bronchitis and spent almost two weeks on the couch.

I never missed a day at the park though, even the day a nor’easter and the bronchitis hit at once. I laid there staring, remote in my hand, lemon tea within reach, trying to gather strength, wondering if it was even possible. Eventually I would dress, grab my umbrella and move slowly to the car. I made no other demands of myself other than to show up and acknowledge God.

One might think a barren park, a cold, windy rain, a sick, weak body and a hacking cough would be enough to dull the glow of God’s presence, but He was there glowing. He was mingling with the foraging deer and immense, bare trees. I heard Him in the echo of a goose, calling the others across the pond . Even in my weakness, in the winter’s desolation, the presence and power of God was made clear.

Storms and plagues, the bleakness of winter, even in these things He continually renews. I would be well again, the spring foliage would crowd the trees, there’d soon be goose eggs along the banks. Nothing had changed, all was sustained and held, preserved and enfolded in the love and greatness that is God.

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Isaiah 40:29

One beautiful thing about the seasons is their constant flow through my life, from beginning to end, over and over again. When I surrender to the inevitable process, I can gratefully observe the miracle, gather the gifts, and endure the discomforts.  As they come, as they go.

I am a descendant of farmers. I saw my grandfather plow under the remains of summer, preparing for fall. I played hide and seek in his winter rye and watched him plow it under to prepare for spring.  I understand cultivation.

Perhaps it is no coincidence the word “harrowing” means both “plowing” and “a disturbing experience.” When God plows His way through my life, it can be agonizing, but I have seen, over and over again, it lead to a blessing, fruit that only God could produce.

I taste that fruit. I pause and give thanks for God’s cultivation. The yield is sweet and quenching and it is always exactly what I need, when I need it. I am nourished and satiated and prepared. There will be more plowing and planting, more weeds to harrow and remnants to remove. I may groan and weep but I am certain of the seedlings and buds that come in the spring.

Does the farmer plow continually to plant seed? Does he continually turn and harrow the ground? Isaiah 28:24

In the Bible, there are answers to many important questions. In Proverbs and Ecclesiastes I can find the way to wisdom. In Job I can learn the way to be faithful in my suffering. In Exodus I read the Ten Commandments, outlining the way to obedience. In the gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, I meet Jesus, the way to eternal life.

I have always assumed that Adam and Eve were thrown out of the garden of Eden as a punishment, but I see now that God was caring for them. They ate from the tree of knowledge, the one tree they were told to avoid, and fell into a sinful state for their disobedience.  God made them leave the garden lest they then eat from the tree of life and live forever hopeless and estranged from Him.  They were removed from the garden lest they, in effect, gain the power to save their lives but not their souls.  God loved them and wanted to show them the way back to Him.  So He drove out the man, and He placed cherubim at the east of the garden of Eden, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to guard the way to the tree of life.  Genesis 3:23-24

God protected the way to the tree of life because He would provide the way through Jesus Christ, His Son. How can those who are lost find their own way home? I look to God and He shows me the way. Jesus is the way.

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me”.  John 14:6

I know that God cares for me. Do I live like He holds me in His hands every moment? He cares for me every moment. He knows each one is important for me to spend with Him. Why? So He can show me how precious I am to Him, so I will desire Him more and more, so He can bless those moments, so I will be with Him eternally.

Psalm 139 says that God looks over my path, that He knows and understands me. When I was a child, there were family members looking over my path, my parents and grandparents. I loved them, I was dependent on them. The more they showed their love for me and their beautiful care for me, the more I longed to walk along with them. Parents care and love forever, and so does God.  God loves me more than anyone ever could. His care for me is perfect. His paths are good to follow and I know He walks them with me.

Sometimes as I walked in the park, I had a notion to turn around or veer off in another direction. Since I had no other aim but to be with Him, I was free to flow with His nudges at any moment. I might take a wooded path or wander over to watch the ducks preening their feathers or read the plaques on trees planted in memorial on Butterfly Trail.  Each time I listened and followed, I was blessed by a gift of His creation. Imagine the blessings He will provide in every moment of my life when I follow Him.

O Lord, You have looked through me and have known me. You know when I sit down and when I get up. You understand my thoughts from far away. You look over my path and my lying down. You know all my ways very well.   Psalm 139:1-3

In the book of John, Jesus tells His disciples that He is the way to the Father, the way to eternal life. He said He would be leaving them soon, but that they should not be troubled. He was going to make a place for them.

Jesus told the disciples that no one comes to the Father except through Him and that they had seen the Father because God is in Him and He is in the Father and doing the Father’s work.

Jesus is the way to the Father. The Father is in Jesus and Jesus in Him. This is a beautiful, tender passage, the moment when Jesus reveals to His disciples His great mission—to reconcile them with God, and that in fact, He is God.  I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.   I AM

God wants me in heaven with Him so much, He loves me so much, that He sent His Son to walk the earth and die in my place.  Believing in Him I am saved, reconciled and live eternally with Him.  I won’t let my heart be troubled, I will trust God and trust Jesus. They are preparing a place for me.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.  John 14:2-3

In the freezing winter I was often drawn to the pond by interesting designs in the ice. Suspended bubbles, cracks and  funnel-like divots made the pond a cold, unworldly slab of art. This day I stood musing over a waving snowman when a murky edge of orange beneath the ice caught my eye. There as still as a stone was a turtle, seemingly frozen in time under my feet. I slid my sole over it, begging it to move, but it remained motionless in its watery quiescence.

As truly as I was the one frolicking above him, I have, as well, been the one lurking beneath, feeling hopeless and cold. They say one should never break the ice to pull a turtle from its winter doze. It slows and adapts to the cold water which buffers it and will die in the freezing air. God designed that to keep the turtle alive until spring.

As He designed the turtle to withdraw, He designed me to receive–His hope, His comfort, His provision. Even in my depression and bleakness, God is there buffering me. I may not see Him there above me, but He is surely there. I only need to open fully to Him and receive His warmth. He melts my trance. He is my hope, He is my praise.

Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.  Psalm 43:5

I couldn’t help but notice on my walks that God’s creation runs pretty nicely all by itself. The trees achieve their heights, the snows still the breadth. The squirrels never tucker gathering and planting the treasure, and the birds do their singing and nesting with grace and quirk, as only His birds can.

Turkeys thrive in my parks. I saw chicks pecking the fields and a hen strictly leading them away from my camera.  A gobbler strutted his masculine spectrum in a crosswalk one day, so robust and incongruous, doing exactly what he was meant to do, despite the cars and pavement. Creation flourishes, continually executing what God conceived. The days and seasons unfold seamlessly, fulfilling each moment, purpose and plan.

I can too. I am creation. I have a Creator. I am equipped with everything good. I can reach like a tree, embrace like the snow, gather and sow like the squirrels, sing and nurture like a bird. In His moments, God reveals my burgeoning course. May He work in me what is pleasing in His sight.

Now may the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.            Hebrews 13:20-21

Nehemiah was a man of God who worked as a cupbearer for the Persian king. His heart was heavy about Jerusalem, its wall had been in shambles for many years. He prayed to God concerning the wall and began to make a plan to rebuild it. The king looked favorably upon Nehemiah and gave him permission and help to execute his work.

Nehemiah worked hard to coordinate and finish the great project. They faced many difficulties along the way, but God was with them and the wall was built in just 52 days. The completion of Jerusalem’s wall was a great feat exemplifying God’s faithfulness. Nehemiah’s work glorified God’s love for His people. People saw Jerusalem’s wall and knew that God was with them.

God wants to further His kingdom. When I work with Him and for Him, He works with me. That doesn’t mean that problems won’t arise, it means that God will show a way through them, as only He can. All the more evidence to witnesses that God’s hand is upon the work, blessing it.  Nehemiah’s heart was for God, he dedicated his talents for God’s good work and God made a way for his success!

I also told them of the gracious hand of my God upon me and what the king had said to me. They replied, “Let’s start rebuilding.” So they began this good work. Nehemiah 2:18

“But you’re so calm and relaxed, nothing bothers you.” I have heard this so many times. Not everyone who feels anxious acts like it. Some go inward and hold anxiety deep down inside, churning quietly, trying to appear calm and settled. Unfortunately, focusing on outer appearances only aggravated the problem and pulled my attention away from the truth that soothes my soul.

This year of walking with God brought me true peace, a peace I had never known. Sure, the waves come and the wind blows, but God always provides the shelter, the nourishing stillness, the affirmation that nothing can truly shake what is His—and I am His. His Spirit resides in my soul. All the rest is immaterial, or material, as it were.

Anxiety is of that stuff, the material stuff. It forms when I align with the outer and not the holy. It grows when I believe I must be worldly instead of Godly. Anxiety cannot be of God. Anxiety is fear and God is grace.  I began some walks feeling anxious but always left blessed with peace.  When God walks with me, there is nothing to fear, no reason to worry.  In His transcendence, I transcend.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  Romans 8:5-6

I ran track in high school. The 400 meter was my race, a tough, all-out sprint, once around the track. The first time my coach told me I was going to run this race, I asked him for tips. He pointed out to the track and told me to start out quick around the first curve, stride it out fast on the backstretch and really kick it in strong at the end. Okay, I thought, fast, faster and then really fast! Standing on the line, my eyes fixed in my lane, I poured it on.

Once a runner is engaged in her race, no thoughts, no commotion on the track, no outcries from onlookers will halt her stride or move her gaze. There is one finish line at the end of her lane and that is where she will arrive. No need to look to the right or left or wonder who may be before or behind her. She fixes her eyes straight ahead and runs.

I always wanted to make Coach Eck proud. A good coach supports, inspires and makes clear the path to success for his athletes.  Eck was a coach we could look up to. How much more can I look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith, for the endurance and perseverance to run the race He sets before me? How much more insignificant the distractions and doubts falling away behind me? I will focus on Jesus and run to His glory.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2