My retreat took place in Cape May, New Jersey, the very tip, a tiny peninsula, where the Atlantic Ocean meets the Delaware Bay. I had a bare little room with a desk and a rocking chair, God, the sea and the sky!

My walk each day was on the beach or in the wetlands state park under the lighthouse. The sand near the sea is firm and cool, fostering long walks down the beach with nothing but Jesus on the horizon and salty splashes at my feet. On a dock in the reeds, I rested with water fowl softly whistling and peeping in charming huddles. I wandered along quiet boardwalks, my legs and eyes kissed with throngs of white hibiscus and into sunsets and sunrises, arm and arm with the One who paints them.

Our intimate conversations on the beach were punctuated with gifts, too many to count.  With Jesus at my side, each shell in the surf is to treasure, every breeze a fragrant reminder of my companion.  Oh, unending pleasure to be free to walk with Him every moment of every day! No dinner to cook, no calls to take. Just me and Jesus. Heaven. 

When God is my sole focus, my life doesn’t narrow, it fills wide and deep with joy, devotion and profound peace. Unceasingly He tells me of His love for me and how much He loves our walks. It is His great desire to walk with you, and tell you of His great love.

He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because He delighted in me.  Psalm 18:19

 

Who knows how much moss I have gathered. I have let it take root in the raw places where I am bruised from transgressions, other’s and my own. I lacquer on layers too, for protection, I think, but for avoidance, most likely. Who knows how thick is my shell.

When one meets God along the path of life, His hand penetrates the scales she has accumulated, on her skin, over her eyes, in her soul. They begin to loosen and fall away and she, falling so in love, unwittingly lets them. Well, most of them, she is only human. His grace and great love for her dispels so many at the start. His mercy brings healing. She wants more of this healing. It is like nothing she has ever experienced in her life. She begins to crave more of that beautiful light to come loosen her makeshift armor.

An image comes to mind. My small self is looking up at my father, maybe grabbing his legs, maybe hopping in circles around him pulling on his shirt. I want him to pick me up. I want to be in his arms, see what he is seeing. I want to be very close to him. So I stand before him, bouncing on my toes. I stretch my arms straight up to his chest, my fingers splayed in urgency. I may be silent, I may be calling to him, but I am begging to be lifted up. 

This is my petition. Lift me, Lord. Let me see what You see. Hold me up so I can take it all in, safe in Your grace and mercy. Take away all of my meager efforts, I want Your supply. Lift me into Your light.

Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11

 

My first silent retreat took place in August and there was absolutely no better way to wrap up this beautiful year. I am forever grateful for God’s attentive provision. 

The retreat description sounded amazing: the silence, the reflection, the prayerful pursuit of discernment. Just one thing gave me pause—the spiritual direction. Each retreatant would be given a spiritual director for daily guidance. I wondered why I might need such a thing, as I was already walking so closely with God.

Then I met her. Sister Kathleen came from a different religious orientation than I and our lives had followed quite different paths, but at our first meeting I knew God had placed me exactly where I was supposed to be, safe in the loving arms of this wonderful, wise lady. 

Christians need other Christians. God wants us to not only speak openly to Him, but to one another. It is vital to have someone who can hear the aches, triumphs, failures and songs of our hearts and receive them with discernment and the love of Christ. Sister Kathleen encouraged me and greatly enlightened me to perceive the ways God was working in my life. With keen insight and skill, she shared scripture and helped me to see the Word of God in my own life, deepening my understanding of God’s will for me. I continue to see her to this day.

Christians need the guidance of a wise friend or a spiritual guide who has a strong relationship with Jesus Christ and can help them see how He moves in their lives. Pray that God will lead you to a teacher with whom you can open your heart and hear Him speak to you in new ways.

And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked  and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.   Hebrews 4:13

 

 

So then, the law was our guardian until Christ came, in order that we might be justified by faith. Galatians 3:24

Righteousness does not come by the keeping of rules and laws. Only two things come from my solitary pursuit of righteousness: pride and shame. I am simply unable to keep a perfect record. When I do well, I’m so pleased with myself. When I do wrong, I fall into hopelessness. This self-centered view of what I can or cannot accomplish eclipses my faith in the finished work of Jesus. 

What if my husband plans for us the vacation of a lifetime and assures me that he has packed and prepared all the essentials. All he asks of me is a response: Yes, let’s go! I love you! I put up a finger and ask him to wait. I turn back to clean the house and continue to attend to matters I deem important. I sift through items I want or that he may have missed. He waits for me, deflated. He sees that I don’t fully trust him. He has provided the greatest gift, but I remain sidetracked, refusing to let go into his loving care.

There was a time I would defend my actions in that scenario. I would counter that, yes, I have every right to attend to my own fears and concerns. And yes, that is the choice. Do I want to go with Jesus or turn back? Jesus has justified me before God. He stands before me with His hand out. To turn back is to choose self alone and there is no way for me to earn what He is offering. Some don’t believe He is The Way. Some acknowledge His gift but carry on with their own plans. Don’t return to drudgery as freedom awaits. Grab His hand and go!

For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.  Luke 18:13-14

 

Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:6-7

Where does one get wisdom these days?  There are so many agendas, so many voices. Who can hear all of that and find a semblance of sanity, let alone wisdom? There is only one voice, one word, one source that cannot fail. The wisdom in the Bible is supreme—it’s universal. After all, it is the Creator of the universe speaking! And the words of this loving Creator make us stronger and wiser.

In the third chapter of 1 Kings, Solomon the king of Israel, prayed to God to increase his wisdom. He recognized the responsibility he faced as king and humbled himself before God for discernment. I cannot imagine that God, hearing any one pray for wisdom, would ignore that plea. James 1:5 says: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. God heard Solomon’s prayer and made him the wisest of men. 

Hearing this account I have prayed for wisdom too! I am not a king but God wants me, and all of His children to grow in discernment and wisdom. He has provided us with 66 books of wisdom, in fact  Read God’s holy Word and grow strong and learn to listen with discernment. Walk in His wisdom. Intelligence varies, no person knows all, but God is omniscient. He is the alpha and omega. His Word is infinite

But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness. James 3:17-18

 

Sometimes I look at a television show and think, What am I doing? How have I become engaged by this absurdity? Truly, I have looked at my own life and thought the same. My walks with God were the beginning of finding meaning in my life, like turning the channel. I never want to turn back.

Walking with God, I have purpose. I can stand up tall. Maybe it’s because I released to Him all that junk I carried. Maybe it’s the feeling of well-being and joy that His presence brings. I do know one thing for sure, when God began to reveal to me the work He wants me to do, my heart began to sing!  

In God I inherit the spirit of significance. I have to admit, I’ve never really known the feeling. Many times I have failed to produce or even show up because I simply didn’t know why I should.  Deep down I believed that I had important work to do, but continually felt like I was missing the mark. In God I can work with His blessing and assurance—He makes the mark—I just hold and aim and let the arrow fly.

Walk tall in His calling. He has a lifework and meaning for each one of His children. Imagine if every one showed up

Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.                            1 Corinthians 15:58

 

In Matthew 25, Jesus told the parable of the ten virgins, a lesson of preparation and warning for when He returns to earth for His people.

The story is about ten virgins who went to meet a groom. For the trip, five of them took only their lamps. The other five took their lamps and extra oil. They all waited so long for the groom that they fell asleep and were surprised by his coming. The ones who came unprepared asked the others to share their oil so they could light their lamps.  No, go yourselves to buy more oil, they responded. The five virgins who were well prepared were led into the wedding banquet. The others came back later and the door was locked.

Of course, the groom in the parable is Jesus. He will take with Him to heaven those who have walked with His oil in their lamps, whose paths have been lit by Him and who have stored up the things of God and stoked His Holy Spirit within them. 

My walks felt just like this. I have a new spirit within me from meeting God anew every single day and allowing Him fill me up. I shudder at the thought of being unprepared. I want to go with Jesus. When those unprepared five returned to the banquet, the groom said, I tell you the truth, I don’t know you. Get to know Him. Let Him fill your cup.

The Lord said to Moses, “Command the Israelites to bring you clear oil of pressed olives for the  light so that  the lamps may be kept burning continually.        Leviticus 24:1-2

 

Jesus said, Follow me. I have often put myself in those fishing boats on the Sea of Galilee, my arms yanking in the nets, the bright sun in my eyes, What’s that you say? Who is that man? Is he talking to us? Were those men like me on that day I dropped my vacuum and put on my walking shoes? If it was so difficult for me to hear Him and go to the park for an hour, how did these men drop everything and leave their routine and their work and their old lives for good?

Jesus is still beckoning, make no mistake about it. He may not be walking by the river, but He is calling just the same. He bids me to walk out of each routine moment of my day and into His presence. For me, that does not look like disembarking from a sea vessel; no, more like leaving behind my own agenda, my needless worries and listening to His message. 

When one disciple said, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father,” Jesus answered, “Follow me and let the dead bury their own dead.” Matthew 8:21-22  The first time I read this passage, I felt sentimental. Surely Jesus would entertain the man’s excuse and delay, but no, His words are a warning. If I’m not walking with Jesus, if I put other things before Him, I am walking away from Him to attend to my own agenda. My agenda, by definition, is not the work of His kingdom and all of it could also be done by those not of His kingdom. 

Jesus upholds His disciples to do His work for His kingdom. I hear Him. I put on my walking shoes, and go.

And I will strengthen them in the LORD, And in His name they will walk,” declares the LORD.  Zechariah 10:12

 

I took an entomology class in college. I spent half of a summer collecting 100 different types of insects, pinning them and identifying them.  I studied their body parts and functions. I found that some insects have biting mouthparts, some are leaf chewers. Some can sting and some are harmless, having no means to hurt a person if they wanted to. This is good information for someone wandering meadows and wading streams with a bug net and a jar. Now I know when to allow a bug to walk on my arm, if I have that inclination, and when to run away flailing and swatting.

It is necessary to know one’s enemy. The Bible tells me that the devil is always on the hunt for prey. I don’t walk around fearing insects or looking suspiciously in every corner,  I’m simply aware and know their capabilities. And I don’t live my life in fear of the enemy, but must be aware and know the threat.

The Bible says that God has given me authority over the devil. He has power in this world, but I have authority from God to dispel it. Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you. Luke 10:19 The enemy swarms and prowls, but God has given me the power to stand in Him and speak His Word in faith. Jesus died to give me righteousness, grace and also victory over evil. Victory over evil is mine when I believe it, walk in faith and confess my Savior

Be  alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a  roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:8-9

God answers! Though I may at times walk around in utter disregard of this reality, God remains, waiting for me to focus on Him once again and confess His faithfulness. He will enlighten me and show me His precious Truth in all things. Why wouldn’t He? I am His child. He wants to lead me.

When met with a problem or decision, I sometimes hastily conclude that I must find or create or be the answer. So, I set off busying myself with possibilities, theories and attempts without ever consulting the One who knows the truth of every matter. 

Life is not always about problems or big decisions. There are moments lived every day embedded with small questions and ponderous searching. God hears my wonders—He may have set them in my heart—and leads me, always back to Him. Like a gentle waft of perfume, turning my head and inclining me to follow.

In the four gospels, Jesus is recorded saying “Follow Me,” over twenty times. One might even read it as a command, simple and forthright. But following Jesus may not seem simple: Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head He warned in Luke 9:58.  Putting Jesus first is refusing one reality and becoming fully immersed in God’s. He wants me to walk in Him, not seeking comfort or answers in any thing but Him. I follow and He provides His revelations along our way.

So we fasted and  petitioned our God about this, and He answered our prayer.  Ezra  8:23