On a trip to Montana, when the boys were 1, 6 and 11, our hotel was nearly overrun by a large group of travelers. They propped open outside doors, made a constant raucous in the halls and grilled their meals in the parking lot. The boys and I were at the pool one day when one of the women arrived with 8 children from 1 to 13 years old. She handed off the youngest to the oldest and jumped in, without a care in the world. There was no lifeguard and the unruly group made it unsafe for my younger two, so we lounged on chairs while my oldest continued to swim.

Suddenly I noticed my son running to the other side of the pool where he knelt down, reached into the water and dragged out a small boy. The listless child collapsed, vomiting water onto the concrete. Then my son stood bewildered as the young woman marched up angrily and scolded the boy, still laying there trying to breathe. She lifted him like a rag doll and dragged him by the wrist to the hot tub, where he sat alone in shock.

Later in our room the mood was solemn.  The cloud of confusion and chaos whirling around the hotel had now darkened our door. We hugged our son and praised him for watching over and rescuing the boy, but we were all heavy with grief.  That child has entered my mind over the years.  I pray that he knows God’s love for him.  I pray that I can keep a warm heart in all situations so others may see God and know that love too.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Philipipians 2:3-4

On my way to walk with God one day, I came upon an accident.  I continued toward the flashing lights and soon an officer came into view and then a middle-aged woman next to him, obviously drunk. I was struck by how ordinary she appeared. She could have been on her way to work. We may have just reached for the same avocado at the grocery store. I must have stared agape at her as I sat at the light, this woman who rear-ended a car, drunk at 10 am.

This all happened in seconds—the lights, the two wrecked cars, the officer, the drunk woman. Then the light turned green and I was accelerating toward the park, the place I talk to God. All at once the Holy Spirit swelled in me, washing my mind of the details, the buzz of commotion, the fleshly need to make sense of it all. I was barely through the intersection when I was strongly moved. Pray for her.

And all fell away, except the pathetic soul standing there in the middle of her mess. There was no farm market, no cars, no onlookers or officials–just her, trying but failing to stand alone. I prayed. I saw Jesus coming beside her, embracing her and calling her by name.  Yes, she was normal.  Just an ordinary human being, caught up in ordinary things, in need of an extraordinary savior.

“In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God”   2 Corinthians 4:4

The people of Israel were set apart by God to be His people, His shining example of the relationship He wanted with all people. But Israel was just like the rest and failed to be faithful and obedient. Rather than turning to the one true, loving and faithful God who rescued them, they continued to sin and turned to idols. From His covenant with Israel in the Old Testament to Christ’s sacrifice in the New Testament, God demonstrates again and again how wide He  has spread His arms to bring me home. God didn’t change for me. No, for me He remains the great I Am.

People often want God to change for themselves—Oh, God doesn’t mind if I do that, wink wink. People like to imagine that God is trendy enough to change with the times, but “the times” are merely a figment of that fantasy.  Society’s decisions to part from God’s will do not change God’s will. Thank God, His will is to love us and reconcile us to Him, so He changes us.

Jesus died on the cross to make it possible for me to change. Without Him, I would be hopeless to find my way to God. I would be wandering from idol to idol and making promises I cannot keep. My works would fail to cover my endless failures, no calf is perfect enough to fix the fix I’ve created. But the perfect blood of Jesus, shed instead of mine, healed me and gives me endless new beginnings. Christ’s saving grace has the power to shape my heart to God’s.

“Behold, days are coming,” declares the LORD, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. Jeremiah 31:31

One of my favorite things about walking in the park each and every day was witnessing the ebb and flow of God’s creation. From calm, composed moss to suddenly surfacing groundhogs, every hushed moment in nature is a bold, holy moment, the divine ethereal made visible in the pulse of a frog

The path to the pond dripped with the night’s rain but I wanted to rest atop the piled tree roots near the water. I like to talk to God from that place.  I like to skim my prayers out over the water and see where He takes them.  When I rose again from my hidden spot, I caught a glimpse of a goose laying silent and still in hers. Her long neck curved under a wing and her awkward, lifeless posture swelled with breath when she heard me. I lingered to watch her warming her eggs, unflappable in her duty.  Days later I would peek again to find one abandoned egg among the broken pieces of those who waddled away with mother.

Death and failure litter the banks of this mankind’s great season here on earth, but God is sovereign and His way is life. God’s plan endures; He remains, eternally, and He has given me everlasting life with Him. Not a season but an eternity, not a possibility but a promise.

Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on both banks of the river. Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fruit, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them. Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing.”  Ezekiel 47:12

I used to think it was noble to suffer fools. It was my self-appointed job to bring balance to foolishness by applying a warm poultice of patience to the madness. I might even lend an ear to maligning words, if I deemed it worthy in some commiserative way.  I was the fool. These waters have been difficult for me to navigate. It is true that God calls me to love and endure, but He will never ask me to abandon His way or go astray. Nor should I nod in agreement when someone else does.

Proverbs 16:17 says The highway of the upright avoids evil; he who guards his way guards his life. He who guards his way guards his life. Powerful. It saddens me to think of the decades I lived before I learned to employ that simple directive. Jesus is the Way, He has given me life. I have no other course. My aim is to walk His path and deepen my faith and conviction, even as the veering world beckons.

Knowing Jesus makes navigating the waters less confusing. With the Holy Spirit’s guidance my heart can “go out” to someone and remain steadfastly and surely at His side, abiding in His ways, not my own, serving others in the name of Jesus, not in the name of Jennie. Loving another never means allowing them to desecrate my good sensibilities. To love sometimes means I walk on by.

Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you.                       Proverbs 14:7