In Amy Grant’s song “Better Than A Hallelujah” she sings of coming to the end of oneself, letting go of the struggle and turning to a loving God who is waiting to give that love to all who ask.

Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

While fighting his addictions, my son went to a remarkable rehab on the side of a wondrous hill with white fences and warm faces. Those who’ve been blessed by it affectionately call the place “Magic Mountain.” I believe extraordinary things happen there but I didn’t see magic, I saw God.

There is a chapel on sight and every Sunday people fill the place, those there for treatment, their loved ones, and some returning just to feel the love. God’s love is there—it’s nearly palpable. I marveled on my first visit, How can it be that there is nowhere else in the world I’d rather be at this moment than sitting in this room full of broken, hurting people?  I had never been in such a place of Spirit and Love in my life and I was amazed.

People lined up on the sides of the room for the chance to walk to the pulpit and speak from their broken hearts. They admitted their weaknesses, they asked for help, they celebrated the healing they received by letting go and letting God. The Spirit of God carried each word from those humbled souls to our humbled souls with comfort and healing. God comes where we gather to fill our brokenness with His Spirit.  It is that simple.  I confess I am nothing without Him and He becomes my everything.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. Romans 8:26

One day I watched a mother goose lead her goslings to the water. They had been snoozing in the shade until I walked out of the woods and mommy began moving them to the safety of the pond. She flopped in first and calmly swam in wide circles as her babies followed her example. At last there was one on the bank who wasn’t sure if he could do it. He nervously fluttered in the reeds, looking down to the water and out to his mother and down at his feet. I stood behind him with words of encouragement.

Though baby was upset, mom just continued to paddle quietly, gathering the others. I knew she wouldn’t leave him, but he was full of doubt. His siblings had made it from here to there, but he couldn’t find the courage. Finally mom drew a little closer and he tossed himself into the water and vigorously joined the others. From my vantage point, all was was idyllic. The quiet pond, his cozy family, no dangers and all the time in the world. From his perspective, he was on a dangerous cliff far behind his departing family with a human looming large behind him.  He took fear in everything he saw.

This acronym for FEAR has been useful to me:  False Evidence Appearing Real.  This time I was the one who could see the whole picture, but when I am that little one, it can be hard to see God or what God sees, so I hold fast to what I know about Him.  God is always with me, hemming me in, holding time in His hand, loving me and scooping me up til I can fly.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and let your heart take courage yes, wait for the LORD.  Psalm 27:14

There is freedom in loving Jesus. The world is full of so many things, lovely things and people to love, but not one like Jesus and none like Jesus’ love. If I seek anything but Jesus, I will come to an end of emptiness or mire or illusion. Or worse. God is the keeper of the end.  To invest in an earthly plot is to ultimately lose everything, to lose God and everything He has waiting.

Poet and writer G. K. Chesterton said, “Merely having an open mind is nothing. The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid.” Even so, deciding on Jesus, falling in love with Him as the one and only, opens for me a life of singleness of purpose and heart, and bountiful love forever. His very purpose and devotion on the cross was to reconcile me with the one God who works all things to my good and His glory. To love Him is to claim that purpose and devotion and be untangled from the rest.

This freedom, this love.  I don’t have to purchase it, He purchased it for me.  I don’t have to clean myself up, but love Him and live in the grace He gave me.  I don’t have to satisfy laws, He fulfilled them all.  I don’t have to win Him over, He waits for me to be won over by His love.  I love Him because He first loved me.  

Loving Jesus, I blossom. I blossom because He freed me from the things that choke. He makes my efforts of devotion fruitful. It is all to His glory. He overcame death for Love. He conquered the fraudulent for the True. In Him I am free to return to the One. My beloved heart beats freely with Him and I dance freely in His love and to His glory.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

I ran into a friend at the store who has a son in high school. She said she is fairly certain her son is popular, so she’s satisfied things are going well. As a parent I understand her sentiment, but I can’t say I have longed for my kids to align themselves with
“the popular crowd.” In fact, I’m not sure any crowd is the place to look to for the good stuff of life. Crowds are usually busy keeping up the image of their crowd. Even “good” crowds.

It is a temptation.  People can become preoccupied with getting accepted by a crowd and lose focus on what is good and true. I think having a few good friends in school kept me in a sweet spot. I cared not about being popular or in a crowd, in fact, all that looked silly to me. I valued friendship.

One of those friends, Kathy, used to pray for me to come to know the Lord. Now that is a friend. I invited her to a Bible study many years later and she revealed to me that she put me in God’s hands way back in junior high. Now that’s a friend who knows the good stuff of life.

There is no security in the crowd—people join crowds because it gives them a sense of security, like they’re untouchable.  Who can doubt the worth of the one who lifts weights with the jock or dyes their hair with the prom queen…or king?  If that sounds cliche, there’s a reason. I don’t want cliche, I want the good stuff. When I align myself with God’s will, I need no clique. I click with His goodness.  He circles me with the good stuff of life, like people like Kathy.

A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

Addiction and alcoholism can devastate the lives of the ones afflicted and those who love them. I’ve heard the diseases described as “soul stealing.” When drugs and alcohol stole my child away, I was beside myself.

I woke every day into a life I had not planned, nor could have imagined. My body rose from bed carrying my crushed soul like a rag doll thrown over my shoulder. I managed to do the things I was supposed to do as a mother, wife and keeper of the household, but it was a mystery force that kept my feet on the ground and my frame in motion. Though my ears heard and my mouth formed words, I wasn’t really there. I was beside myself. I was the one hanging limp, like an uprooted weed thrown aside and dying.

People in this situation usually think If only my loved one could get well, maybe I could get well too. But the opposite is closer to the truth. When I exhausted my vain efforts I carried my boy to the feet of God and asked Him to take over. I couldn’t see what God was doing in him, but God had something special waiting for me —a 12 step program of hope for people who are negatively effected by someone else’s drinking. It was there my roots began to take in nourishment.

In this place I learned to love and care for myself. I carried her in, lifted her from my shoulder and laid her at the feet of the group and my “Higher Power.” And she began to heal. In fact, I healed and continue to heal there with the others and my God in ways far beyond the person I was before I was uprooted. God does not leave me uprooted and hurt. When I turn to Him, He transplants me to a better place.

Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights. Jonah 1:17

The disciples followed Jesus while He walked among them and when He went to be with the Father He left the Holy Spirit to guide them. Led by the Spirit, the apostles founded churches, worked miracles in His name and were inspired with the word of God to preach, teach and write scripture. The Holy Spirit is a gift of Christ.

The apostles baptized believers in the Holy Spirit and they too received spiritual gifts to grow the church, the body of Christ. Christ gives these gifts to believers to be used in His name, for His purpose, for His people. When I know Him and walk with Him, He reveals the gifts He has given me for His glory.  I am fully equipped and my faith in my Savior gives me the grace and power to act in Jesus’ name.

I’m reminded of my job in a floral company. Every day I received a detailed list of arrangements to create, sometimes well over one hundred, and often no vases to complete them. I had the tools, the flowers, and the willingness—everything but the vases! This doesn’t happen in God’s business plan. He doesn’t dole out work orders without stocking the necessary elements.  When I obey the Holy Spirit and act in faith, He takes care of the details so together we arrange God’s great designs.

Christ gave gifts to men. He gave to some the gift to be missionaries, some to be preachers, others to be preachers who go from town to town. He gave others the gift to be church leaders and teachers. These gifts help His people work well for Him. And then the church which is the body of Christ will be made strong. Ephesians 4:11-12

 

I learned a little bit about snakes on my walks. They eat frogs, they can be found near ponds hunting frogs, and they live in holes on banks with frogs. They are generally hidden, lying in wait, but then shhhh–a distinct swish of the grass betrays the cold-blooded predator. I tread lightly around the pond, knowing I may meet a snake in the grass.

Most snakes around here aren’t poisonous. They might give me the jumps, but they are pretty harmless. So this is where my snake/evil analogy ends. My path can be perilous but not because of serpents, at least, those of the Reptilian class.

The Apostle Paul wrote the letter Ephesians to a church he established in the city of Ephesus. It was to remind believers who they are in Christ and in unity as a church. It closes with a command: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.  Paul knew that the church would meet with struggle.  He directed them to “put on the full armor of God” to overcome sin and evil, personally and united as a family of God. God is over all. It is not my own, but His power that crushes the forces of evil.

Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:11-12

Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.” John 19:11

“Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest,” Jesus said to his disciples in Mark 6:31. Mark uses the word “apostle” in these verses.  As disciples, the twelve were learning, as apostles they would be missionaries and healers. Jesus knew they needed rest and renewal.

Jesus often went off alone to be with God. After he was baptized with the Holy Spirit, he went to the wilderness for forty days and then began his ministry. Moses was alone on the mountain for forty days before he received the tablets of the ten commandments to carry to the people. Elijah also went to the mountain for forty days before God appeared to him and gave him a mission to anoint two kings and a prophet for God’s purposes.

God calls each one of His children, not just those carrying commandments and anointing kings and prophets, to meet Him alone in a quiet place and receive His rest and direction. If I do not hear Him in the rush of my days, it’s not that God isn’t speaking to me in my busyness, it’s just that I am not listening. It helps me to have intention. When Jesus, Moses and Elijah set off alone to fast and pray, there was no mistaking their intentions. They were not multitasking for forty days, they had one objective—to seek God. I am a child of God, I need His healing restoration. I need His specific guidance. I need to be in solitude. I need His intimate presence.

But Jesus Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.                      Luke 5:16

I’m fascinated by the second verse of the Bible, that the earth was in darkness, formless and empty with the Spirit of God hovering over it. Jesus, the Holy Spirit and God were present at the beginning and didn’t waste any time revealing the plot:  God loves and hovers over me.

My yard is aflutter with birds lately. There are house finches on my front porch, robins in the dogwood and cardinals in the tall crepe myrtle near my window. These are the ones I see daily hovering over their nests. The finches very politely tell us our porch is off limits while they’re nesting. The bird feeder, once busy, hangs silent from the dogwood because the robins built a nest over it and scare off any bird who stops to eat. The cardinals are my favorite. They chirp and swoosh by too, if I pass closely, but it is when the squirrels attempt an attack on their young that the parents really shine.

About twice a day I hear a cacophony so intense that I run to the window and join the hysteria. I usually arrive to see the squirrel springing from the tree and the angry red father chasing wildly after it. And I think, what great love. Do cardinals love, exactly? I don’t know but God does. And so much more than that.  He didn’t build this nest to abandon me in it.  He is here. He is still loving and hovering.

Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Genesis 1:2

Our first home as a married couple was nestled in the woods of Alloway, NJ, next to our landlords, Gary and Marilyn. We loved their tiny farm of two horses, a pot-belly pig with piglets and a Dalmatian named Hope. Each day when I walked the long driveway to the mailbox, I’d stop to pet the horses on the nose–over the fence, that is. I have always had a fear of horses. When Gary and Marilyn vacationed they hired someone to come feed the horses, because I do not deal with horses. That is, except one crazy day.

There was a loud knock on my door. I couldn’t imagine who had driven deep into our little haven or what they wanted from me. “Your horses are loose! They’re up on the corner grazing in the neighbor’s field.” “Okay… they’re not my…” I whimpered as I shut the door. I can’t say I remember praying, per se, but I’m certain I cried out, “WHAT AM I GOING TO DO” as I scrambled for my boots, and I’m certain God heard me. I flung open the refrigerator, then bolted out of the door with two carrots, on a surprise mission to round up some horses.

I ran with a determination that left my fear long behind in the gravel. There could be no other way, only the strong could come.  At the top of the hill there was an intersection, a bright green field and two enormous fugitives.  I had no idea how I was going to do it, only that I was the one who was going to do it. As I came face to face with the beautiful beasts, grace intervened. I lifted the carrots up high to their noses, turned and began trotting across the intersection. They trotted with me, one on each side, all the way down the hill, the long drive and into their corral.  Good horses. They received their carrots and I closed the gate.  Thank the Lord.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13