Submit

The waves break as far as my eye can see, rising white on the dark water. There is always change, always new, always hope, always God. He is infinite. So am I in Him.

I jotted these thoughts in my journal on the last silent day of my retreat. Though I had practiced at the park, submitting to God minute by minute for eight whole days was at once weighty and liberating. Weighty only because it was ponderous and deliberate. Liberating because my soul had longed for this for decades.

I didn’t know what to expect on my first meeting with my spiritual director. I found her sincere and faithful, I knew God had placed me in her hands. When I told her I was writing a book about my walks with God, she asked me if I intended to work on it during the retreat. That was my intention. She suggested that I put it aside and spend the time with God. “When you are generous with God, “she said, “He is abundantly more generous with you.” The truth in her words aligned in my spirit. I put my work aside.

That truth did not weaken as I drove away that last day. Submitting to God isn’t an option, putting Him first in all ways is the only relationship with Him. God is above all, there is no maneuvering around that. Each moment is His moment; it is mine only to submit.

Oh, that you had heeded My commandments! Then your peace would have been like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea. Isaiah 48:18