Forgive

When I am angry or bitter, my tendency is to withdraw to a safe place and observe my wound.  There, in dark analysis, I hold the thing and turn it over before my eyes, nursing and cursing the components. I nurse the personal ones, my part in the thing, and curse the other parts, the damaging ones that came from them. In other words, in solitude, I take what has hurt me and resume the harm.

The park gave me a place to air my grievances in the light. Of course, as a beloved child of God, I have this opportunity in every precious moment. God is always waiting to receive my confessions, concerns and contemplations.   It is always best to take full advantage of that miraculous gift.

Forgiveness doesn’t come easy in the dark, secluded place. When I carry pain into that closet, there is only one reason—to avoid God’s way and have my own.  At the park every day, in effect showing myself to God, I came face to face with an opportunity to do the right thing, over and over, with each step.  Walking with God, carrying a weight of pain, who could I turn to?  Him.

Lord, You know, I have been wrestling with this thing in the dark. Yes. It is causing me such agony. I know. Would you like Me to hold it? I think so, yes. See? It is in My hands. I feel better, thank you, Lord. When You hold it, I can see it more clearly. I see my part too. Forgive me, Lord. You are forgiven. And the harm they caused, it comforts me to see it’s in Your hands now. Yes, it is all in My hands. One more thing. I think I would like to pray for them, that You will heal them as You have healed me. Thank you. They are my child too. Thank You Lord for forgiving me and helping me forgive.  Amen.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32