There are always Canadian geese at the park. One day I was eyeing a large flock gathered in the grass, when a young turkey came out of the woods on the other side. He made a beeline through the crowd toward the same corner of the field I was headed. His legs moved swiftly through the geese, his head pushing forward and back, like scullers on the open water.

As we drew closer and he passed the last few of the flock, I noticed one of them watching him. As tom zoomed by, the insulted gander looked down its beak at him and clucked a snobbish, “Hm!” The whole scene made me laugh aloud. The goose’s reaction, so human-like and the turkey’s predicament, so familiar.

Surely I have felt like an odd bird in some crowds. I have searched, at times, for a crowd of my own. Who are they? What are they like? Will I fit in? No worries, be who God made you.

God made no odd birds. Each one is perfect in its own way, the way God created. But am I being and claiming who God made me to be? As a child of God, I always have sisters, brothers, a loving family. Though many, we gather under His wings in love and acceptance, as one. There is room for all.

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.   Romans 15:5-7

The park is no magical place. No entryway to heaven nor door to spiritual knowledge can be found there. I could walk around my neighborhood or on the streets of Philadelphia and have a similar experience. Yes, God speaks to me in His puddles, woodpeckers, oaks and koi but will continue to speak to me at home and at work, if I listen.

The beautiful park is, for me, a place where I learned to put down my burdens and look to Him without interruption. The moments I spent on those paths were cleansing and powerful. Slowly but surely, these moments, God’s blessings, began to seep into my days, minute by minute, hour by hour, and soon the park wasn’t my only refuge from the craziness of this world, or my own mind. God Himself was my peace.

God wants me to walk with Him every moment. There is no time in my day when He bids me, good bye until next time. He is my path, my sky, my delight and my breath of fresh air. He has qualified me to receive His power and beauty anytime and in any place. Now the paths we walk together are in my heart.

We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. Colossians 1:9-12

The world is not an accurate mirror for a lover of Jesus. It is impossible for a child of God to look to worldly constructs for a true appraisal of their meaning and worth. The ways in which others measure—individuals, schools, communities, governments, organizations, clubs, societies— are not the way God sees His people.

Since the beginning of creation, people have judged and have longed to be judged by each other. God wanted Israel to have a king, a king that would reflect and uphold His ways to His people. But Israel wanted a king so it could be like other nations, nations which looked to a worldly king, not a Godly one. Simply put, they wanted to be free from a sovereign God. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, people choose the ways of the world over God, again and again.

But like Adam and Eve, people are fooled. The world can never be what God intended for me. Only He knows me, for He created me and I am truly His first. Only He knows what He has created me to do and be on this earth. The world will always try to mold me in a thousand different ways, whatever serves each person or organization at that moment. When I choose to serve God instead, to look to Him for my true reflection, He gives me a deep sense of knowing. He tells me the truth of who I am and helps me walk with Him and live that truth.

For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.  Colossians 3:3

On a trip to the Grand Canyon years ago, my friend Stephanie and I took a long hike on the northern rim. Every so often, the wooded path led us out to a breathtaking view and we would stop and stare in awe. I will always remember one vista in particular.

A ledge of rock jutted out into the space, a perfect stage for a pose. I handed Steph my camera, hopped out onto the rock and spun around to face her, the wide canyon all around me. She lifted the camera to her eye and at the last moment I reached out and leaned my hand on a gnarly dead tree, wedged in the rock. The thing immediately gave way and fell into the abyss. The resulting photo shows a blushing young lady, wilted and mortified. What I felt was humiliation.

How could I have done something so stupid? Where was my head? I risked my life for a photo! I stood on a ledge where one false move could lead to death, and I chose to be reckless. And haven’t I leaned on dead, deficient, faulty things before in my life? Things not firmly rooted in God, my true rock? And didn’t these things lead to nowhere? Or worse? Do not waver, depend on God alone.

I depend on God alone; I put my hope in Him. He alone protects and saves me; he is my defender, and I shall never be defeated. My salvation and honor depend on God; he is my strong protector; he is my shelter. Trust in God at all times, my people. Tell him all your troubles, for he is our refuge. Psalm 62:5-8

Yesterday I heard a man proclaim, “It’s about pride! It’s about me!” At once, my soul shrunk back in protest. He was referring to using his strengths in a challenge and it’s not that I haven’t felt the same at one time or another. It’s just that now I know something greater and true: It’s not about me and it’s not about having pride in myself. That is a road that leads nowhere.

God has fashioned me with wonderful capabilities. It is exciting and exhilarating to discover and employ them. And He wants me to! But I am not the creator of them, only the curator of them. I am to find my God-given gifts, care for them, use them, and manage them to display God’s glory, not my own.

My life is not my own. I am eternally joined to Him who made me, who makes my way. His gifts aren’t stagnant, it’s not a bag of 5 things and I am set off alone to use them. No, He makes the way for His children to use His gifts when they walk with Him, pray to Him, talk with Him, trust Him, learn His word. God comes alongside and shows me the way.

Never must I worry that He has left me helpless! I have His gifts to use, I have His Holy Spirit within to guide me and I have the promise that He will direct my steps.

Lord, I know that people’s lives are not their own; it is not for them to direct their steps. Jeremiah 10:23

At times I think my “depression” is simply bewilderment. I get lost in this world and lose my bearings. The things that keep life running smoothly and in a good direction seem to spin away.  Before I know it, life grinds to a stop and I’m sitting on a hard chair looking out a dirty window, wondering what happened. Whatever the cause, at its rock bottom my depression is profoundly disorienting.

The first time I felt this sense of disorientation was in college, ironically, also the first place I ever attended an “orientation”. Certainly, no worldly orientation could ever clear this deep confusion. What my soul needed was God.

My compass has three points of direction, They show me the way, like the Star of Bethlehem leading the three wise men.  Making the daily trek to Jesus’ side is a beautiful and awesome spiritual orientation. God speaks small and great words into my soul. He never leaves me alone. I cannot go far off the path when I follow Him.

The Israelites were in the wilderness for forty years, grumbling and walking in blindness; all the while God was before them, performing miracles.  The Lord is always there before me, leading me if I will follow.  When I could no longer see life clearly, I lifted my eyes to the One ahead of me, listened closely to His promises, beheld His miracles and trusted in Jesus. He clears the way and makes me new each day.

God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.  2 Tim. 1: 7.

Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power? Are you washed in the blood of the lamb? Are you fully trusting in His grace this hour? Are you washed in the blood of the lamb? This old hymn asks questions that beg more.

Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power? Why do I need to be cleansed? And why Jesus? Are you washed in the blood of the lamb? Washed in blood? Why do they call Jesus a lamb? Are you fully trusting in His grace this hour? I believe Jesus was a special person, but why do I need to trust in Him? What is grace and why do I need it? Can’t I just be a good person?

The Israelites presented sacrificial lambs to God for their sins. This served to cover the act, but an animal’s blood couldn’t cleanse their souls. God presented Jesus as the perfect sacrifice to completely cleanse all sin and when I accepted Jesus as my Savior, my burden fell away. My sins are not simply covered up—they are washed clean. There is nothing for me to do but love Him and live in His promises.

This is grace. I don’t deserve it, but Jesus gave it to me and I accept. God has decided to remember my sins no more. In me He sees the precious blood of Jesus because I’m washed by the blood of His lamb.  Are you washed in the blood of the lamb?

Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more. Hebrews 10:17

I love to walk down near the pond in the winter. There is always something interesting to see—the frozen ice formations, a lone goose navigating the slippery pond, the bare tree roots rising from the hard, cold ground and the soft, subtle green moss holding on for dear life.

Moss has all kinds of ways to keep on keepin’ on, even in the harshest weather. It lays low, out of the bitter wind. It doesn’t have deep roots, so is not dependent on the ground it covers. It thrives in the shade and doesn’t need constant nourishment, but waits for those opportune times to flourish. When my feet tread on green moss in February, I smile. With God, there is always life waiting in the wings.

Moss reproduces with hearty spores, but when I think of growing plants, I think of seeds and seasons. I grow tithonia, or Mexican sunflowers, every summer beside my porch. I turn up the ground in spring and drop in the tiny seeds, covering them up with expectation. I water them, shoo the dog, and for a few weeks, may think no more about them.  I trust they are coming, I know how seeds work. I’ve seen it over and over every spring for decades. I have faith. One day my tiny tithonia arrive, I see them wave at me from their plot. They are sprouts, but they are here and they promise big tall bushy blooms of orange.  So still I wait.

Therefore, return to your God, observe kindness and justice, and wait for your God continually.  Hosea 12:6

 

I see hearts everywhere. In a pile of leaves, my eye easily spots the heart-shaped one. Wading in a rocky stream, my gaze falls upon a heart. One day in February I was alone in the park, thinking, praying, musing. I wonder why I always see hearts. Is a heart so common a shape in nature? I never see…diamonds, for example. Everywhere hearts.

The next day, heading to the lower wooded path, my feet stopped still. A diamond-shaped piece of ice bigger than my hand was laying right there in the grass. I looked up and around me at the deserted grounds. There was one frozen grassy puddle several yards away. I stared back at the piece of ice. Another walker might not have puzzled over the random gem, but I, only hours ago, had thought to myself I never see diamonds in nature.

Love filled my soul, love and awe for a God who desires an intimate, joyful connection with His children. He hears me, knows me and touches me deeply.  Even creation professes His greatness so that I, walking amidst it, might encounter the Creator.
Who is this majestic One who knows me and sends me winter diamonds?

For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse. Romans 1:20

 

Here I am, a stay-at-home mom in my 50’s, never had a career or even a long-term job. My youngest will be off to college soon and I see choices—travel, work, volunteer, write, wait for grandchildren. It is now, when my life is halfway through, that my eyes are opened. I want my life to be about God.

Yes, my life is at least halfway through, I do have a centenarian or two in my family, but I don’t believe it’s halfway lived. I’ve come this far with a lot of confusion and doubt. I have been preoccupied with myself but now I have become preoccupied with Jesus. Some live a lifetime trying to create their own splash. I simply want to echo the ripples from the splash God has made and continues to make in my life.

Only God’s work is lasting. Only God’s word is true. Only God’s hand creates true masterpieces. Only God’s power creates waves that sculpt landscapes and oceans. All the rest goes out to sea and disappears into the simple molecules from which it rose. Whatever it is that God has for me to do and be, it will be to His everlasting glory. Why strive to make fleeting ripples when God’s ripples can move mountains?

For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.  Romans 11:36