The Bible is chock full of stories of the Lord changing people, healing people, putting a new spirit in people, even changing their names along with the conversion. It is what He does. He loves His children and He wants them to be reconciled to Him for eternity. He wants to be glorified in their lives so they can shine His magnificence as a light to others.

God changed me step by step. Every step I took with Him this year was life changing. Not because of a miracle. Not because He answered my questions. Not because I was comforted or uplifted. I changed simply by being in His presence. It is impossible to meet with God every day and not be changed. His very presence is a miracle. He opens eyes and hearts and minds and arms and lives to embrace Him and His word. He draws His children to Him and then He changes them to love Him and all Jesus died to give them.

I wonder how there is a person alive who does not once sit on a bench by a lake and talk to God. Do they know He will be there beside them? Do they know He is in the bend of a tree, the iridescence of a duck’s wing, the splash of a koi? Do they know Jesus died for that moment–to love them, fill them, change them, save them?

 I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. Ezekiel 36:26-27

God is enough. God is ample. God is sufficient. God is amazing. God is awesome. God is the great I AM. There is nothing above or below, east or west, near or far that means a hill of beans if not for God in my midst, in my life, in my heart.

When I think back to my first walks with the Creator of the universe, I see a lot of complaining, grieving and distress. Oh, I was grateful too, but usually following a dramatic lament. At some point in those first several months, my eyes began to see differently. Sometimes when I left the house early in the morning, I’d notice the sky, the sunrise, an interesting cloud–a foretaste of a beautiful walk. Even as I brushed my teeth, I might glance out and see a white fog mingling through black branches in my yard and brush a little faster, eager to go. Some days it was as if He met me at the end of the driveway with a billboard in the sky, Come on! I’m anxious to see you!

I’m so grateful that God listened and comforted me. He is merciful and He took my pain, but He didn’t stop there. He filled my soul every day with His great love and blessings. God is eager to give, He fills, He wholly satisfies. He helped me make room in my heart by sweeping out the old, whisking it away and replacing it with Himself. He is all I need.  He is all.

Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what he has done for my soul. I cried to him with my mouth, and high praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, because he has not rejected my prayer or removed his steadfast love from me! Psalm 66:16-20

These walks with God have helped my faith. I have learned to let go and let God guide me as I journey with Him. I trust that even as I place my foot, He is always preparing the ground beneath and ahead of me.

When God brought the children of Israel into the Promised Land, He dried up the waters of the Jordan River for their crossing. What a grand entrance! This miracle left no doubt of God’s perfect will and love for them. But they had work to do too. Even as they crossed, each of the twelve tribes were to lift a large stone from the river bed and carry it to the shore. These would serve as monuments to generations to come, proof that Israel passed over the Jordan on dry land, that the mighty hand of God led them there.

As I reflect on this account in the book of Joshua, I see a vital truth.  Though God always leads me, my job is to be obedient, willing, faithful and hard-working. He prepares the way, changing the impossible to the possible. I am to step in His authority, carry my weight and bear witness to His greatness for others, perhaps generations, to see. God will plan my course.  I know He will provide the wonders if I will ready my heart with faith and earnest effort to do the work He puts in my path.

In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps. Proverbs 16:9

Years ago, in college, my husband and I took a trip north to Canada. It was November, there was a white out, and we were camping on the north shore of Lake Superior. It was the coldest trip, the coldest week, the coldest cold, I have ever experienced. My spotty memories from that trip are, exclusively, moments of seeking warmth.

To keep myself alive in the daytime, I cross country skied. Every few hours, when the bitter air became unbearable, I’d buckle on a pair of skies and take off, carving two straight lines into the blight. It didn’t matter where I was going, just so I generated heat. There was one small pub near our camp.  We had plenty of food and little money to spare, but we returned to its cozy wooden booths for warmth again and again. There I discovered the comforting goodness of chili con queso. I must have eaten 5 crocks of it that week, (and many, many since).  At night we built a fire and, wearing as many layers as we could manage, huddled closely to the glow. I still own the boots I wore on that trip, the melted soles tell the story better than I.

The things I do for comfort, for relief, to avoid pain. Instead of running away, jumping into the fire, or eating bowls of cheese, I can turn to God.  I can read His word.  I can feel His warmth and peace in prayer and meditation.  His ways are good and perfect. He will sustain me.  He will warm me when my days are cold.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

In elementary school, I admired the shorter girls who, while sitting at their desks, could freely swing their feet above the floor. I wanted to be tiny. In middle school, the popular hairdo was “Farrah Fawcett wings”. My silky straight hair hung flat, not at all like angel wings, but exactly like bangs. In high school, I struggled with math, failing algebra and chemistry.

Why, God? Why can’t I be like other people? Why do some things feel impossible? And what harm would it do if I had fluffy angel wings in my hair?

The Bible says the church is a body and I am to serve as a part of it. I am not supposed to be, to have or do all things, but to honor the life God has provided me. I am learning to fully embrace this, here in my 50’s, and it feels simple and perfect.

I’ve spent too much time doubting and wondering if I was on the right track, if I should do or be something else.  Today I have a great and wonderful opportunity—to hold dear my God-given gifts and purpose right now. Today.  God will show me the plans He has for me tomorrow, as I fully embrace Him and the life He’s provided for me today.

But as it is, God arranged all the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose.  1 Corinthians 12:18

Alligators lived under my Grammy’s bed. At least, that’s what she told me. I think she wanted me to stay put and thought that silly tale would help. It did. When I had to use her tiny bathroom in the middle of the night, I’d stand up on the covers, step onto the old chest at the end of her bed, and spring, as far as my skinny legs could spring, into the bathroom. I’m sure I didn’t really believe there were alligators, but something in me delighted in the idea.

Grammy also told me about Jesus and prayed with me each night I stayed with her. She would say, Now I lay me down to sleep… and I would repeat each phrase of the prayer after her. Then she would list all the people in my life to be thankful for: Thank you for Mommy…Daddy…Grammy…Pop Pop…and so on. I closed my eyes and repeated all of Grammy’s words into my tightly folded fingers.

The threat of bedroom alligators faded as I grew, but the Savior Grammy put in my heart never did. I never questioned it. Jesus was in my heart and that was that. I may not have always known what that meant to me and my life, but I was His and I never doubted that. Jesus has me safe in His hands and nothing, not even the jaws of an alligator, can snatch me away.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.         John 10:27-30

In the dog park is an evergreen with all its limbs growing on one side. It stands on a slope, reaching uphill with all its might. The other side is oddly bare and exposed. In this tree I saw myself, sometimes consumed by reaching for or protecting myself from one thing, while leaving another area of my life neglected and vulnerable. This dynamic only happens when I fail to trust God. In all things, especially uphill battles, God is my strength and stability.

At this time of my daily walks with God, I was working in a new environment. I enjoyed it but was surely fighting an uphill battle. I was completely new to the scene and received no direction.  The same manager who addressed and guided other new workers completely ignored me. Meanwhile, animosity between managers constantly brewed in the studio like a sick soup. I asked questions of kind people, worked hard and made the very best of it.

If I had not been close to God each day, this bizarre environment would have disarmed me, but I chose to see it as an uplifting challenge. Instead of being distracted by the disfunction, I trusted God fully and rose to my own personal potential each day, while serving the company as best as I could. Depending on God as my source of strength and guidance, I am productive, calm and balanced.

Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken. Psalm 55:22

When my gaze is fixed on my own desires, plans and intentions, my spiritual vision is obscured. I never noticed a swimming turtle or a deer resting silently in the trees or a snake having a frog for breakfast, as I walked those hundreds of times before. It was all about my body, my mind, my feelings. When I began to let all of that fall away, to walk with God and see what He is showing me, it changed my perspective on everything.

I still have my plans and intentions, but I can compare them to the turtles. What to do when my options feel limited, when my world gets small, cold and murky? Persist. And the deer, what do they do after a morning of travel and foraging? Gather and rest low in the woods in slices of sun.  I can see and hear the cardinal and the Downy woodpecker, flashing by and knocking high, amid the dull woods of gray, stock-still and hollow. They toy with the lone walker: Here I am! I’m still here! Be curious and full of wonder! A groundhog pops up for a snort of fresh air. He takes note of the matters on his hill and as far as he can see.  What does God have for me today?

But ask the animals, and they will teach you, or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you; or speak to the earth, and it will teach you, or let the fish in the sea inform you. Job 12:7-8

Early one morning in a nor’easter, I snuck out at 6 when the storm was just getting started. I looked at the weather. The day did not look good. I had one hour to make the best of it.

Along the path near the pond, two ladies walked by me, grinning with adventure. “Another crazy person!” One of them called from under her hood. I laughed, “I was thinking the same thing!” We were the only ones in the park, and we were delighted to be there. The wind was pushing, the rain was pelting and we were giggling.

It is up to me to capture every moment of the precious life God has given me in this exquisite world. He has provided everything I need to make a day beautiful. I live this beauty in my walks, and aspire to make it true of the other 23 hours as well.

A perfectly blue sunny sky cannot yield an enchanting blanket of white fog. A howling wind silences my catbirds. An oppressive heat spares me Jack Frost’s bite. And vice versa. Each and every day offers something divine and rare to be captured and regarded, to be seen through holy eyes and held in a humble heart.

Blessed is the man whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on a pilgrimage.  As they pass through the Valley of Ba’ca, they make it a spring; the rain also covers it with pools.  They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.  Psalm 84:5-7

There is a tree in my park that kneels low on the banks of the pond. In the quiet winter months, I often descended from the path and perched on its branch just over the water. There I could be alone with my thoughts and the stillness.

I often wondered how a tree could get into such a position, reaching horizontally from its trunk to its top until finding the ground at the water’s edge. Was it overwhelmed by a storm as a sapling? Did a small boy “ride” it down the hill when it was too young to defend itself? And those angled branches kneeling on the bank, how did they end up bending, not breaking, but growing out even further to reflect their leaves on the black water or provide a strong arm for one who dares to walk on the freeze?

The kneeling tree can’t share its story, but it knows mine well. I too had a past of affliction, stress and loads too heavy. I too needed to find my bottom, humble myself and kneel, and then live on to continue the plan God has for me.

More than the many benches scattered around the park, more than the low wall surrounding the memorial gardens, this kneeling tree brought me to a deep place of rest. I know that when I fall on my face or on my knees, Jesus meets me right there. He hears me, He heals me and He helps me stretch onward.

And it happened when He was in a certain city, that behold, a man who was full of leprosy saw Jesus; and he fell on his face and implored Him, saying, “Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean.” Then He put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.” Luke 5:12-13