My grandparents’ house was a place of love for me. They were loving people in a sweet old Cape Cod house by the Delaware Bay, surrounded by his magnificent boxwoods, crepe myrtles, vegetable garden and her petunias along the walk.

I grew up from a wee one there, visiting and staying with them often. I played in the garden rows, shelled limas on the porch swing with my Grammy and often skipped down the road to my friend Cherie’s house to climb on her mimosa tree.

When Pop Pop died and we had to sell the house, I wanted so badly to purchase it. The thought of letting that idyllic spot in my world slip through my fingers was heartbreaking. It seemed like all things good welled up from that plot of land on the edge of Newport, New Jersey.  But no, it’s just that Jim and Eva cultivated good things there as they lived. They knew God’s word, prayed with their grandchildren, served in church and loved their neighbors.

As I write this, I see four of Pop Pop’s spruce trees planted in my front yard. They are getting big and someday they will grow out over the walk and need to be removed. I will be sad but I needn’t worry about change. Pop Pop is in my heart, not my yard. And Jesus is not in a place, but everywhere, in me, and wherever I go. Grammy put Him in my heart, so I could have His love with me forever.

 

The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save.  He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17

It seems every bride wants peonies in her wedding bouquet. They are soft, delicate, and come in the sweetest shades of bliss. In season, peonies are fluffy and sublime. Out of season, they often arrived at the floral design studio as tight, round buds. To coax them into the flower we desired, we cut the stems, put them in a vase of hot water and covered it all with a heavy plastic bag, creating a hothouse. Then we crossed our fingers and hoped for the best.

God’s perfect timing is often compared to a blooming rose. Neither can be rushed. We tried that too, blowing into a rose bud, attempting to force it open. I even saw one designer spin the rose stem between her palms to fling the petals open. It sort of worked but never as well as the God-intended process. Nothing ever compares to God’s plan.

Everything on earth, everything in life, everything in death involves a process. God has set it perfectly that way. He creates in a moment, performs miracles in an instant, but He has established time and process into our world, into a blossom and into each life and every thing. I try to tinker with it. I push against it with my prayers. I want things now and fail to see why it cannot be. Surrendering to His perfect plan, joining Him with faith, obedience and awe always heals, always heals.

The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,  to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. Lamentations 3:25-26

I give my tears to Christ because I know that He cares. He carried my sorrows, He is the only One who could. When I am in despair I know that He hears me. He knew my despair long before it fell upon me and He can carry me through it.
My tears come when I don’t know what to do. It’s sadness, yes. And it is grief. But it is also a question: Lord, how I can make this better? I feel powerless and lost. So I give Christ my tears with a plea: Help me make sense of this, help me heal this, help me help this… Help me.
I wonder why God keeps track of my sorrows, but it comforts me that He does. Maybe it is so I don’t have to, I can let them go, one by one, because I know that He has them safely with Him. Yes, he carries my sorrows.

Christ’s work on the cross for me is my only hope. Without Him, my sorrows would drown me and I would keep creating more and more of them. With Him, I am restored and reminded that it doesn’t all depend on me. I can sometimes say, “I don’t know what to do, I don’t know how to help,” and know that Christ has already put an end to my suffering, I need only hand over my tears and trust Him.

 

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. Psalm 56:8

The image of walking along with God is comforting to me, like I am a favored child who gets to spend special time with Him. And I believe this is true! There is something else that needs to be in the picture though, obedience. Getting to walk alongside of God is keeping in step with Him and having the faith in Him to keep walking wherever He would have me go.

Some days I never seem to leave His side; others, I find myself walking alone and realize I left Him miles back where the road became steep or the path was unmarked. But I didn’t have to wander away just because it was difficult or I didn’t recognize the path, in fact, that is when I needed to draw closer to God.

There are also times I just walk away in disobedience. I know the way He wants me to go and I willfully choose a different one. That path leads nowhere and I call out to God to come find me again so I can once again walk closely by His side.

I need to choose to walk with God every step of the day, every step of the way. There are no days in life when this doesn’t apply. When I do this, there is no need to wander off, no way to lose my bearings. And I can meet everything along the path with God, His comfort and His grace. I am eager to see where He leads me.

 

Obey My voice, and I will be your God.  Jeremiah 7:23