Heaven is the perfect place. God is there, He reigns, there is peace and love forevermore. I have never given much thought to the other specifics, I just know I want to be there. And, of course, who wouldn’t want to be in heaven? But is my heart really there?

I have to admit that before these walks with God, I couldn’t conceive how much my heart longed to be with Him. Here, there, anywhere—just be with Him. I knew I yearned for something, but I was still searching here, thinking “it” could be found here in a thing, an experience, a person. I’ve noticed that people who have God so dearly planted in their hearts don’t seem to be searching for anything. They already have it.

Matthew 6:21 says, Where your treasure is, there your heart shall be.

God is my treasure. He is who I have searched for, who I walk with, who I continue to seek. In Matthew 19 there is the story of the rich man who asked Jesus what he could do to have eternal life. Jesus told him to sell his possessions, give to the poor and follow Him and then he would have treasure in heaven. The man walked away sad. He was still looking for treasures on earth. He didn’t see the treasure in Jesus. I want the treasures God has waiting for me. Here, there and everywhere. They can be found in Him.

Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be complete, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.”     Matthew 19:21

Soon after I began walking at Bethel, I spotted the carcass of a deer on the dam. I noticed it from afar and trudged through the mud and dead reeds to see what it was.  It felt tragic. I stood silently and stared.

Finally I turned away, helpless. There was no way to release the poor thing from its crude resting place. I had questions. How did she end up in such a position? How long would she have to suffer the indignity? Why, Lord, did you show me this? The other park was so full of life.

The deer’s elegant being graced this earth for only a while, but her body hung on that dam for 10 more weeks, freezing with the lake, thawing with the thaws. I checked on her often, wondering what would become of her. But for what was I hoping? I was waiting on God to bring change, to fix the insult of her death.

Jesus died, Jesus rose, Jesus will come again.  With His death, He secured my life.  In Him I hope..  

One day she was gone.  I felt a release as well.  But all around me God’s creation had never been still.  Deer waved their white tails as I passed, an alert to the others to move on quickly. Woodpeckers echoed above my head and cardinals dabbed the bare woods with color.  A groundhog peeked from her hole.

God simply never shows me death without filling the space with life. In stillness, a movement. In silence, a knock. In the barren, a blush. After the freeze, a thaw.

So death works in us, but life in you.  2 Corinthians 4:12

From August to November, I walked in one park, a sprawling one with many trails, paved and wooded.  I’d see the same few people each morning at 7 and we nodded and greeted each other. One of them, a friendly retired man was trying to take a picture of wild turkeys one day. His phone wasn’t cooperating so I tried to help. From then on, “Bob” always stopped me on the trail to talk and finally even suggested that we walk together.

This began to affect my walks. I had to go at 7am because of work, but I didn’t want to see Bob, so I stayed on the back trail where I knew he didn’t go.  If I did run into him, he’d ask where I had been, if I was hiding from him.

Finally one day I turned to God. I said, “Lord, I have been enjoying these walks with You so much, but now they’re becoming less about ‘us’ and more about avoiding Bob! I’m disappointed and don’t know what to do.” Some answers come quicker than others.

There is another park nearby I hadn’t considered. It’s called by a different name now, but I always knew it as Bethel Mill Park. After I prayed on the path that day, I went home and turned on a Christian show while I made coffee.  I heard these words as the television came on: Go to Bethel! The preacher was talking about Bethel, the place where Jacob went to hear from God.  I knew I’d heard from God right there in my kitchen and I started walking with Him at Bethel the very next day.  He answers my prayers.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.   Matthew 7:7-8

When I made the decision to walk at the park with God, my mind began delineating and defining exactly what the thing should look like: Go the same park every day at the same time, walk exactly X miles for exactly X  minutes, track my steps, daily weather, mood, wildlife spotted… Surely, it needed to be formalized, systematized and alphabetized to be meaningful, right? Thankfully, I dismissed that familiar urge immediately.

God has shown me on this journey that attuning myself to Him and listening to the Holy Spirit within me is the only plan I need. I can’t possibly predict the twists and turns of any process the Lord wants to reveal to me. I must stay open, willing and present.

My journey with God took me to places and experiences I couldn’t have foreseen on that day. When winter snow hit hard, my first two parks were often closed. A third park was open, so I explored that one in snow boots and gratitude. I also enjoyed a park at the river, once a battlefield in the revolutionary war. On a whim, one summer day, I drove to the shore and walked at a wetlands preserve with quiet birdwatchers carrying big cameras. In July, my family vacationed in the mountains and my “walks” with God were lone kayak trips around a heart-shaped lake. Each place blessed me in its own unique way.  When I listen instead of specify and define, I welcome God to create each moment of my walk to His perfect vision.

Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future. Proverbs 19:20

Of my heart. Desire can be deceptive. The desires of my heart are in alignment with my Maker. I believe God put good, pure, moral, holy desires in my heart and I believe He wants to fulfill them. Sin arrived on the scene, however, and muddied the waters. John 10:10 says, The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I can be fooled easily. Sometimes flashy, alluring, breath-taking things arouse in me a desire, one that is not truly of my heart. These are only paltry substitutes, empty decoys. When I chase them, I lose, I receive cheap, dumbed-down imitations of the best things God has for me. The enemy will do anything to keep me from God’s best. He wants to keep me hanging on a line, lure in my mouth, rather than swimming free in God’s abundance.

What are these genuine and true desires God gave me? They are the desire to give, to love, to heal. They are the desire for good, for beauty, for wholeness, and for peace. They are delight in the Lord and the abundance He came to give me. The Lord God is the desire of my heart. Nothing else will do.

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

 

One day on my walk I was pondering angels.  I know that God has angels and they do his work, but I’ve never quite understood why some people pray to angels.  I believe that angels are wonderful, strong helpers of God and that they come to the aid of His people.  But they are created beings, they are not God.  So I pray to God through Jesus Christ, who save my soul from eternal death.  

I was considering these things one day.  Should I pray to angels?  Is that wrong?  Why would I pray to a created being and not the Creator?  I asked God to help me to understand.  

The next day, following the path down toward the lake, I saw something yellow up ahead.  I am in the habit of investigating things that catch my eye, so I bent over and picked it up.  It was a printed piece of card stock and the first three sentences explained how angels work in my life.  It said that angels are moved by the word of God, so when I speak the word of God, His angels respond.  

At home, I found this verse:  Bless the Lord, you His angels, who excel in strength, who do His word, heeding the voice of His word. Psalm 130:20  So I will speak and declare His word.  I will always pray to God, He answers me.

The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. Psalm 119:130

My freshman year of college, I received a letter from my Nana. Inside was a prayer card with the image of two cupped hands and the words from Isaiah 49:16: See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. I remember sitting at my desk, staring down at those words. I was comforted by the verse and the sentiment from Nana, but I wasn’t sure what those words really meant, how true they really are.

Zion, Israel, thought God had forgotten them. This was His response: Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has born? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands. Isaiah 49:15-16

As a mother of three, I admit to having moments of sudden alarm, Wait, who’s missing? Where’s this one? Where’s that one? I love my children with all of my heart but I am human and I err. I can be weak, distracted and neglectful. God never (ever) is. He is a Father I can always rely on, He does not fail. His silence is not neglect. His pace is never behind. His love does not end. In His arms there is love, protection, guidance, strength, comfort and me.  I crawled into His arms and He has not let go.

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you. Isaiah 66:13

Walking in a rocky stream is my favorite thing to do. If I had to choose the one activity to do each day for the rest of my life, I’d choose that. If I had a long winding stream in my backyard, I would have spent this year walking in it.

What is around the next corner enchants me. I love zigzagging up a brook, hopping on rocks, finding my way. It’s mesmerizing and captivating, never boring. It requires balance and active thinking. My senses delight in the sweet eddies, the flat accommodating rocks and the colorful stones beneath the clear, moving water.

God is the greatest artist, the best tour guide, the most imaginative author. It is along His streams I long to wander and upon His paths I yearn to tread.  I must stay open and attentive to Him, so He can direct my ways and guide my feet.  Compose the story of my life!  I cannot write like You.

There are many ways to be lost.  Some are obvious.  I have left a path and fallen into a dark thicket.   I have also lost my way, however, walking a well-traveled path that seems good, but does not lead to the place God has waiting for me.  Being lost is simply being without proper direction and that can happen on any path without God.

Today as I step along, I remind myself to look for Him, to listen to His voice, to read His word and to follow Him and His beautiful way.  No worldly course can ever compare to a God-inspired walk through life.

Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.   1 John 2:15

I have collected rocks my whole life. I love finding them myself, but I am honored when one of my sons drops a heart rock into my palm, after a walk in the woods or trip to the store.  I also received rocks as gifts from my parents as a child. I remember a snow selenite for Christmas, a quartz egg for Easter.

One birthday my Nana gave me a collection of rocks and minerals. It came in a tray, each specimen in its own little cell.  The cardboard lid was the identification key. All in one swoop, I was the very proud owner of many “gems”:  pyrite, quartz, hematite, feldspar, lodestone, pumice, and even a clear slab of rock salt, which I licked every time I opened the lid.  It was like my own box of assorted chocolates, only better.

I didn’t see my Nana often or know her well.  She lived far away, but she loved me sweetly and her gifts to me were always on-target. She seemed to know exactly what her granddaughter loved. She gave me many beautiful books too, but that collection of rocks and minerals glistens brightest in my memory.

How many gems has God given me throughout my life? How many would there be if I could keep them all neatly ordered in a collection to number and admire? They are as many as the pretty stones under my feet.  Some hidden, I’ll never know.   Some bless me often as they catch my eye.   Some I pass casually, never realizing that He put them in my path to bless me, but I’m blessed just the same.  My Nana was a precious one.

Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.        James 1:17

My middle son went off to a technical institute for engineering after high school. I was perplexed. I believe art is his God-given talent. Since he was old enough to hold a pencil, we have admired and delighted in his artistic expressions. I wanted to push for art school, but I trusted God and stayed quiet.

During his freshman spring break, the two of us were sharing some food and conversation at the kitchen table. Suddenly he came out with it. He didn’t want to be an engineer, he didn’t really enjoy math. He had chosen engineering thinking it was the smart choice, that it would provide a lucrative job but, alas, his heart wasn’t in it. He wanted to go to art school. My heart sang!  Mothers can’t claim to know everything about their kids, but I knew this one needed to go to art school.

I want my sons to be where God has planned for them to be–for a day, a season or a lifetime, whatever it may be.  Maybe God allowed my son to look into engineering to awaken him to the very thing that shines brightest in his soul.  Perhaps he wouldn’t have seriously embraced an opportunity to pursue art if he hadn’t spent that year walking away from it.  How God works is a mystery to me at times.  But I do know that God has bestowed upon each person gifts, potential, talents and interest. I’m learning to attune myself to Him and His ways so I can follow the path He has waiting for me, the one that uses my gifts in the best possible way, the one that honors Him.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11