I bought my car a bracelet. Actually I bought it for myself but I slipped it over the gear shift once and it looked so nice on her, I decided she should have it. It has 31 now sun-bleached beads, resembling small beans, strung on a long spiral wire. Occasionally I take it with me on my walks and run my fingers along each smooth orb, saying my blessings.

Some days are heavy. They seem to arise that way, with burdens creeping upon me before even the coffee is dripping or my teeth are brushed. I drive to my park with hitchhikers: cares, worries, pains and distractions. These are especially the days when I need to have gratitude—to send bouquets and bouquets of pink roses up through the clouds, my personal way of sending heart-felt praises and thanks to my Father.

Yes, these are especially the days. God’s word tells me to rejoice through trying times. Rejoice always, for God is my God and He is good. All the time.

….27, my precious mom and dad…28, Your perfect love for me…29, that blue heron tip-toeing in the still pond…30, Your son Jesus Christ…31, Madison and Allison…1, the cool rain…

 

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.          1 Thessalonians 5:18

It is vital for me to notice and acknowledge every time God provides a way through my fears. Every time, no matter how small. This builds my courage so I might be courageous for His purpose when He calls for me.

I dreaded going to a party only to be instantly greeted by a friendly face the moment I stepped in. I was anxious about a speaking engagement and an old friend surprised me at the door, bolstering my confidence. I was confused by a medical condition and an acquaintance happened to mention the perfect doctor. I struggled with doubts and that morning’s sermon was the explicit answer. Once, in the dog park, my eyes discovered an escape route, a small path through the woods, that was there all along, just in case.  Each of these times I smiled, knowing God had provided.

It’s ok to pray about each and every fear, no matter how seemingly trivial. Fear itself is not trivial. Fear is a withdrawal from God. I enjoy giving my fears to Him and watching in faith to see the way He provides. Sometimes it is a removal of fear and sometimes it is encouragement despite it, His presence warming me through it.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.      Psalm 34:4

When I came across O.C in my walks, I would share about him to my friends. The resounding response was a plea for me to adopt and care for him. We cannot have cats because of allergies in our family, but despite that, O.C. had absolutely no interest in hopping into my arms and making a new life with me. I left food for him a couple times, I opened my car door and invited him in, I let him nuzzle my ankles but he seemed to want nothing more than the desolate life of wandering, meowing loudly and scratching people.

Everyone can see when someone else is lost, but sometimes that is lost on the one who is. Ironically, someone crying over an orphaned cat may not even realize how grieved their Father is, waiting for them to come home. He wants them home.

Like the shepherd who counts his sheep and finds one missing, God knows when one of His fold is lost. He waits only to hear the cry, “God, I am lost. Please help me. Lord, I need you.” And then he is lost no more because God hears, God has mercy, God rescues, God saves. There is never a shepherd who hears his sheep calling from the darkness and does not carry his light to that lost one and guide him back to his loving care.

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver and honor him.” Psalm 91:14-15

Hide ’n Seek is an interesting game. All but one person, who’s “It”, hide and stay silent while the It counts to 100. When the It is done counting, he goes looking for the hiders. When he finds one, he announces that this person is now “It” and all the rest can come out from their hiding places to begin again.

Sometimes I hide from God. I know He is looking for me but I remain quiet and do not wish to be found. Then someone in my life gets found and comes out from hiding. Perhaps they begin a Bible study and invite me, or read a book and share it with me, or perhaps they’ve just seen a great light at the end of a dark night of their soul and long to tell me about their journey. Perhaps one of these things happens and they call to me to come out from my hiding place and join them in gathering around God once more.

Why was I hiding in the first place? How could I think that stepping out of God’s radiant light could lead to anything but loss and confusion? Maybe I wanted to be pursued. Maybe I wanted to be missed or longed for. But meanwhile, I long for God, yearn for His eyes to fall upon me, for His hand to reach out and lift me from my hovel. God is It. He is always It.

Can a man hide himself in hiding places so I do not see him?” declares the LORD “Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?” declares the LORD.  Jeremiah 23:24

I researched “God’s light” in the Bible. What are the reasons I might want to stay in God’s light and not wander off into the dark shadows of the night? There is a reason we need to be in the light.

After God made the Heavens and the earth, He said, “Let there be light” and there was light. He saw that the light was good and then he separated the light from the darkness. Heavens, earth, light, water, sky, stars, plants, animals, people—these things are good. God created them all to display His glory.

The light of God is described in the Bible with words like radiance, shine, illuminating, brightness, glowing, sunlight and splendor.  Words associated with darkness are foolish, worthless, weeping, gnashing, trembling, calamity, wicked and stumble.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17. God is light, He is the light on our path, we are to carry that light. I am the the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life. John 8:12.

There are so many facets of God’s light. I want to uncover and be illuminated by them all.

When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. John 8:12

There have been times in my life I have essentially said this to my Lord, the Creator of the Universe:   I love You, I believe in all that You are, but I’m going to split for a while and go learn some life lessons the hard way. I’m sure you understand.

Then I go off into the cold, wild world alone and make a mess of myself. I listen to things that do not enrich my life. I don’t take care of this body that carries my spirit. I stop worshipping God in church. I stop reading His word. I don’t include God in my choices or my concerns. I jump into the swift river of worldly ways and every single time I get washed back onto the banks scraped up, drowning and exhausted. Thank God.

Today God said lovingly, “Stay with Me” and it touched me deeply. I want to stay in His fold so very much. A “fold” is a flock of sheep and a safe enclosure for sheep where a shepherd tends to them together for their protection. He leads them to green fields and still waters, he calls them each by name and they recognize his voice. Strangers do not come in, they do not recognize his voice nor mingle with his sheep. If one of his sheep is ill, he restores it to health. If one goes missing, he leaves the flock to find it and brings it home. The sheep are safe in his fold, they thrive under his shepherding. They are not alone and vulnerable, but secure and loved.

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.      John 10:27-28

Early one morning a lady was crossing the lot in front of my car.  Other than the two of us, the park was empty and I felt impatient watching her meander.  She was wearing heels. Strange for a walk at the park. Then she opened her trunk and rearranged some things. I could see that her car was full of belongings. Then it began to make sense; I had seen her there before. She was homeless and using the park restroom to dress for work.

My walk that morning was filled with thoughts and prayers for her. Also on my mind were two gift cards I had in my wallet. God showed me over and over, ‘Those cards have been stuck in your wallet forever. You’re not using them. Give them to her.” The idea brought me joy. I decided to put them in a nice card and anonymously leave it on her windshield the next day when she went into the restroom. I never saw her there again.

Weeks later in a different park, I came out from the woods and there she was. I recognized her car—dark, no hubcaps. I ran back through the woods, grabbed the card from my glove compartment and returned. She rolled down her window as I approached. I told her that I’d seen her before and God told me to give her this gift. He wanted her to know that His eye is on her and His angels are with her.

The Lord directs the steps of the godly, He delights in every detail of their lives. Psalm 37:23

Depression has haunted me throughout my adult life. While I am in a depression, I feel cut off. I could be at the most exquisite gardens or the most touching wedding or with my most loved and cherished people and though I can notice the good, it doesn’t touch or bless my soul. I think depression could stand as a metaphor for not knowing Jesus.

The things of this world can crowd in and block truth and light like a fog, allowing me only to see very few stark elements of a vast picture. I wonder how people who don’t know Jesus can find their way through it.

On these walks I learned to look for God in all things. I started out mumbling, crying and pleading and ended up relaxing, enjoying and being filled by His Spirit at every step. God answered my every prayer, every word. Did He fix all things immediately and exactly according to my will ? No. He showed me Himself continually, in every walk, every day, in all things.

When I know Jesus and am filled with the Spirit, God changes my focus. He brings hope to me in an infinite sky, grace on a glistening blue swallow, mercy in a mellow rain, and love in a sunbeam resting on a quiet pond.

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:18

While Jesus was here on earth, He took time to get away from the towns and crowds to spend hours in prayer with God. Yes, Jesus—the “son” part of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. If Jesus needed quality time with God, then all of my walks with God are more than justified. I don’t know how I lived over fifty years without them.

It’s true, I do need to have time alone with God, it has changed me and my life. But I also think God wants time alone with me. I’m under the impression that God looks forward to our walks. I think He takes pleasure in listening to my words of joy and gratitude. I know He loves to comfort me when I come with sadness and confusion. I believe He is eager to tell me about Himself and delights in showing me His creation. I even think He got a charge out of seeing me jump that afternoon in the woods when a big red corn snake plopped down next to my foot.

From the tiniest flower to a dramatic expanse of clouds, God displays His love and grace and mercy to me. I pour out my concerns and by the end of our walk He heals me. I sit on a bench at the pond and He sits before me in all that He is and all that He’s made. God is ready to spend my life with me. All I need to do is join Him.

And rising early in the morning while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed. Mark 1:35

How will others see the sacrifice that Jesus made for them if I don’t show others the sacrifice I’m willing to make for them?

There is something more magnificent than clutching onto what I desire every moment of the day. That thing I wanted to get done, the coffee break I was counting on all morning, the kid’s baseball game I just had to make. Something more magnificent than these may be standing right in front of me.

Is there a co-worker who is overwhelmed and could use a hand? Is there a friend who may need to go get that coffee with me and have a long talk on the way? Is there an old man struggling to walk who needs a ride? I have done each of these with my heart wide open and it was easy. I just had to remember what I’m actually here for. I believe it is to love.

There is something about staying in the beautiful awareness of being a child of God that frees me to share His great love. I never have to worry about running low on what I need if I keep my focus on the One who died to give me life and life in abundance. Jesus wants everyone in my life to have that too. He asks that I abandon my intentions and yield to His— to let love flow from Him through me to them so they will be saved, loved and blessed by Him too.  When I remember to lay my life wide open with His love, blessings flow.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
1 John 4:9-11