My grandfather was an expert gardener. We were fed from his field every spring, summer and fall. And he was serious about the bugs and the weeds. He used to pay me a nickel for every potato bug I picked. I dropped those little striped beetles into a coffee can and proudly handed it over to him to inspect. I did not pull weeds in Pop Pop’s garden, however, he was in charge of that. I didn’t know his garden like he did. My little hand was not as steady or discerning as his and may have misjudged, uprooting a carrot or vine instead.

There are some things better left to my Father. God’s word tells me to walk in His ways, according to His Word and then I will be delivered. Some spend a lifetime trying to remove sin and bondage from their lives. God’s word tells me not to trust my ways but to fix my eyes on His ways and give my problems to Him. He will remove them. And if He doesn’t, for reasons only He knows, my eyes will still be fixed on Him and His ways.

I have spent years of my life with my eyes fixed on my shortcomings and some I am simply powerless to change. No amount of observation fixes them. No amount of stomping flattens them. No amount of fighting weakens them.  When I depend on God, I grow with Him. He is the expert gardener of my life. He blesses the bounty and withers the weeds. He delivers me.

He that trusts in his own heart is a fool: but whoever walks wisely, he shall be delivered.  Proverbs 28:26

How is it that Meschach, Shadrach and Abednego did not fear when King Nebuchadnezzar had them thrown into the fire? Two things: They knew that God would either keep them from the flames or bring them home safely to Him (thereby keeping them from those other flames). Blessed and cared for either way!

Why is it so hard for me to hold onto the truth that God keeps me in the palm of His hand when I face crises? Two things: I focus on the enemy’s frightening display and I want it to stop–in that moment–more than I want God.

Trials fill me with fear when I fixate on the weapons of the enemy instead of my Father. When I put my life in the hands of God, I have nothing to fear and everything to worship and adore. I may not like my predicament. I may not understand the turn of events. I may not feel equipped to handle a circumstance, but God has allowed it and God will be with me as I walk through it. I depend upon Him with all the faith I can muster and pray for the rest. God wants to be glorified in my situation and in my life. He has good plans for me. I rest in His hands and do not fear because of one thing: He loves me.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

I didn’t come to know self-respect until I came to know God. I had no significance. I didn’t know how to treat myself with dignity. I didn’t believe that what I did mattered to myself, to God, to anyone.  I thought humiliation was the way to humility, denigrating myself the way of putting others first. I began to think differently when I began to know Jesus.

Jesus died for my sins. God loves me. It’s nothing I have done, it’s who He says I am—a child of the Most High God. I am a child of the Most High God, saved by grace. I accept and embrace what God has given me—all of it. My home, my family, my intelligence, my body, my gifts, my talents, my purpose. Precious gifts, His blessings.  I respect myself as one loved by God and saved by Jesus.

Part of this self-respect is respecting God in others, too.  Just as my parents would have me respect my sibling, God expects me to honor Him by regarding His children in the same loving manner I do myself.  This helps remind them of who they are to God and the great price Jesus paid to make us all completely lovable in His eyes.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind; that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.  Romans 12:2

When my sons were very small they would come to me with despair over a broken toy, or tears over a bad fall, or woe over a lost item. As their mom, I would set into motion a quick plan to solve the problem the best I could. I had glue to mend, bandages and hugs to heal and, as the only female in a house with four males, apparently the exclusive gift to locate.

Parents can seem to their children to be bigger and stronger than anything–able to fix everything!  It is so important that they know the One who really is. There have been times my life I tried to force that job onto other people or even myself, rather than become humble to omnipotent and omniscient God.

Jesus was on a boat with His disciples when a big storm arose. The fearful disciples ran to Him to save them and the Bible says He rebuked the wind and waves and calmed the storm. Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

I think the disciples did one thing right—they ran to Jesus. I have been on a few proverbial “boats in a storm” and have, at any given moment, abandoned hope, blamed others, lashed out in anger and surrendered to despair. When all I had to do was run to Jesus.

Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for you. Jeremiah 32;17

I lost a pregnancy once. I was due on my son’s second birthday but I miscarried at the end of the first trimester. The birth of my first child had been a triumph to me. I just wasn’t expecting this. It was a very lonely, confusing day.

The people who loved me didn’t understand that this was a hard day for me. They said they couldn’t leave work. They said this type of thing happens all the time and was no big deal. They said I was so attached to my first child that my body rejected the second. One friend said, “Wow, I wonder why this would happen to you. It’s not like you ever murdered anyone.” I began to think my sadness and disappointment was wrong because I was looking to others for help and compassion and found none.

After that first day a few came to embrace me. Their tenderness showed me how I might do the same for others some day. Sometimes it is difficult to be as compassionate as others need me to be—or even as I desire to be. During my walks I have felt great empathy and gentleness from my Lord. He is the source. I need search no longer. I bring my brokenness to God. He provides His loving kindness, His loving embrace, His loving people. And He heals me. I pray that I may also bring His compassion to others.

Eight months along with my second son, I was very sick with the flu.  Holed up in my bed, I coughed until my sides were bruised and. with my large belly, could find no comfortable way to rest. My friend Mary was a day or so ahead of me with the same virus. I called her daily, praying she would tell me it was almost over.

When I surfaced from the scourge, it was time for an appointment with my midwife. I had just enough strength to buckle in my 4 year old and drive over the bridge to Philadelphia. Parking was a challenge. For prior appointments I either circled the block until a spot opened or I drove directly to the parking garage and navigated that maze of floors, cars, elevators and stairs and the subsequent hike to her office.

This day I chose the garage, I didn’t have the stamina to search for a spot.  As I waited in heavy traffic right in front of the midwife’s office, I glanced over and saw two beautiful ladies walking toward me, enjoying soft pretzels.  One of them caught my eye. She was waving. At me? Yes. She was saying something. To me? Yes! I rolled down my window and the winter air poured in with her sweet voice. “Do you want my spot?” She was pointing at the car beside me. “But how can I? I’m blocking you.” “We’ll wait for you,” she said. “Go around the block!” I did, wondering if I was in a fever induced hallucination.  When I came up behind them in the line of traffic, sure enough, they pulled out and seamlessly, I pulled into their spot.

We had only a few steps to the office.  I looked down at my son as we walked hand in hand, “Seth, those women were angels.”  “They couldn’t be, Mom.  Angels have wings.”  God can do anything.

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.  Isaiah 43:19

We used to make puzzles on our dining room table over Christmas break. We’d dump the load of pieces, turn them all over to show the myriad of colors and designs and enjoy the hours, searching and finding just the right one to fit in just the right place. Of course, we used the picture on the box as a guide, otherwise the process would be grueling.

Sometimes I find myself puzzled, staring at the same few pieces of my life wondering how they fit. If I could only make sense of them, get them in the right position, figure out how to use them in the best way. But often all I see are dead ends, collapsed bridges, gnarled paths and no way to connect. The problem is I cannot see the whole picture, there is no sample to follow, no box that neatly holds all the pieces.

But God. God sees the picture He wants me to follow. He knows the way the pieces will fit together just so. He assembles one corner of the picture so that when I build with Him in faith, I can reach that place, connect and make sense of it all.

My life does not have to be puzzling. I do not have to figure it all out alone. I can trust my life to the One who sees the big picture.  He will help me create it.

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21

When a shepherd boy named David stepped forward to kill the giant Goliath, no one, including his brothers, believed he could do it. He did, in the name of his Lord Almighty, with a single stone from a sling. Nobody saw that coming. They had told him to go home and watch his sheep.

God Himself called David a man after His own heart but David was not perfect. In fact, after God made him king he disobeyed God, committed adultery with Bathsheba and had her husband Uriah killed.

David’s sins were not without consequences but the fact remained: God loved David. Jesus would be born to David’s lineage. David would play instruments and write psalms to God. And David loved God.

God doesn’t see things like we do. We see the obvious, God knows what’s hidden. We see the plain, God knows the intricacies. We see what serves us, God sees what serves Him. We see a face, God sees a heart.

When Jesus returned to synagogue in his birth place, Nazareth, they rejected Him and threatened to throw Him off a cliff. We see the familiar. God sees the truth.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

I live in the most densely populated state in the U.S. Driving on our highways can be intense. Occasionally I will hear the roar of a motorcycle or two flying up behind me through heavy traffic and I instantly pray. Sometimes they’re doing wheelies, sometimes they’re weaving through the 70 miles per hour traffic as if our cars are images on a video screen and they’re operating the joystick. All I know is they seem to be having the time of their lives. What if one car makes a single careless move? Their game and their lives would be over.

I know that God wants me to enjoy my life but His word tells me that He will satisfy my desires with good things. When I throw caution to the wind I am not waiting for His good things, I am not remaining in faith. I need to cling to God even when everything seems to be moving along perfectly. These are the times I can be swayed into thinking that I don’t need Him, that I have everything under control. When I think, “If everything could just stay like this forever, this would be perfect,” like the guys on the motorcycles, I am deceiving myself.

I need God every step of the way. I am not the one in control. He knows what’s up ahead and He wants me to travel closely and joyfully by His side.

Seek the Lord and His Strength. Seek His presence continually!                                       1 Chronicles 16:11

One chilly morning I noticed the squirrels at work. One put two brown leaves in her mouth. She zipped up a tree, disappearing into a hole, preparing her nest for winter. There was another squirrel doing the same, only this one had stuffed her mouth with leaves, too many to count. She climbed up several feet, stopped to adjust her bounty, climbed up another few feet, arranged the load again. It took her quite a while to reach her nest, she had taken too many. I saw God’s love for me in those squirrels.

God provides a superabundance of bedding for squirrels for winter. He will provide for me.

God’s provision and plenty is all around me, ready for the taking. Why would I want to burden myself gathering excess?

God provides but he may not deliver. I haven’t seen any squirrels reclining on park benches praying for their dream tree hole nest. There are things I can do to improve my situation. I can do my very best with what God has given me.

Finally, trees let go of leaves to prepare for a new season. They’re not afraid to let go. They know they are part of God’s plan. God plan is in those leaves, those tree holes, the busy squirrels and in me.  I can let go and let Him reveal His perfect plan to me.

Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” John 11:40-44